House advantage

The owner of a casino is sitting behind a desk, he is a large man wearing a ten gallon hat, a bootlace tie and as he leans back in his chair he lifts his legs up onto the table and we can see he is wearing cowboy boots.

Behind him is a window that overlooks the main floor of the casino; we can see that it is packed solid with punters. There are two goons standing either side of the owner.

A young man is sitting facing them on a basic wooden chair.

The owner takes a cigar out of his mouth as he speaks ,Texas style.
"So you tell me why I need you boy? When I have the most successful casino on the strip?"

Young man
English accent
"Because I can double your takings in a week sir"

Owner
"Son that's a mighty tall statement to make even on a Sunday, now just what is it that you do boy that makes you so darn irresistible to employ?"

Young Man
Dead pan
"I'm a ventriloquist!"

Owner
Sits up and is animated
"Shoot son I've had them all her including Ole Blue eyes himself with and without his Rat Pack and let me tell you, entertainers lose me money not make it. The shows we have on here are simply to give the notion to folks that this is a place of entertainment, when the truth is son its all about the tables"

Young man
"I know that sir, I don't want be on stage I want to work on the gambling floor"

Owner
"Shoot the last thing I needs is folks being distracted from the tables"

Young Man
"With respect sir the players won't even know I'm there"

Owner
"Then how in damnation do you intend to make me money?"

Young Man
"I specialise in impersonations and voice throwing sir"

Owner
"Shit son, I'm a busy man and the only thing being thrown is you on your sorry caboose outta here"

The two goons go to eject the young man

Young man
Holds up his hands
"No wait, let me explain, if I work the floor I can watch the punters and if they start winning too much I can stand next to them and impersonate them and throw their voice."

Owner
"And how the hell will that make me money?"

Young man
"Let's say some one from Louisiana is playing blackjack and they have two face cards and a pile of chips"

Owner
Curious
"That happens; they go all in with their chips and clean my table out"

Young man
"Wouldn't it be nice if they said 'Twist' instead?"

The young man had said 'Twist' without moving his lips and in a perfect Louisiana accent.

The owner is clearly impressed

The young man presses home the advantage
"Let's say someone from California is doing well at roulette and has a big win.

A simple 'Do it again dude' from me would get your money back"

Again the young mans lips hadn't moved as the accent was pure Californian.

The owner rubs his hands with glee and tells the young man he's hired.

The young man gets up shakes his hand and tells him he will start right away.

As the young man leaves the room the owner puts his hands behind his head a leans further back in a smug fashion as he speaks.
"That boy's going to make me a whole passle of dollars, I can smell it!"

One of the goons replies
"He sure will boss, he's a natural"

The owner replies in a slightly angry tone
"Never the less I hire the help here, so next time wait for me to give the ok before you jump in and make any decisions for me!"

Goon
Puzzled
"But I never said a word boss!"

Owner
Leans back further even more satisfied
"Dam that boys goooood!"

Teddy,

again this is a very good idea that has been swamped by over direction, I hope you don't mind but I've had a go at removing unnessasary directions, and triming a little.

INT: OFFICE OVERLOOKING CASINO FLOOR
2 MEN (OWNER AND JOHN) ARE SITTING OPPOSITE EACH OTHER AT A DESK, 2 SECURITY GOONS ARE GUARDING THE OWNER.

OWNER: So you tell me why I need you boy? When I have the most successful casino on the strip?

JOHN: Because I can double your takings in a week sir

OWNER: Son that's a mighty tall statement to make even on a Sunday, now just what is it that you do boy that makes you so darn irresistible to employ?

JOHN: I'm a ventriloquist!

OWNER: Shoot son I've had them all her including Ole Blue eyes himself with and without his Rat Pack and let me tell you, entertainers lose me money not make it. The shows we have on here are simply to give the notion to folks that this is a place of entertainment, when the truth is son its all about the tables

JOHN: I know that sir, I don't want be on stage I want to work on the gambling floor

OWNER: Shoot the last thing I needs is folks being distracted from the tables

JOHN: With respect sir the players won't even know I'm there

OWNER: Then how in damnation do you intend to make me money?

JOHN: I specialise in impersonations and voice throwing sir

OWNER: Shit son, I'm a busy man. Throw him out!

JOHN: No wait, let me explain, I work the floor, impersonating the punters.

OWNER: And how the hell will that make me money?

JOHN: Let's say some one from Louisiana is playing blackjack and the have two face cards and a pile of chips

OWNER: They go all in with their chips and clean my table out

JOHN: Wouldn't it be nice if they said 'Twist' instead?
JOHN SAYS 'Twist' WITHOUT MOVING HIS LIPS AND IN A PERFECT LOUISIANA ACCENT.
Let's say someone from California is doing well at roulette and has a big win.
A simple 'Do it again dude' from me would get your money back
JOHNS LIPS HADN'T MOVED AS THE ACCENT WAS PURE CALIFORNIAN.

OWNER: You're hired.

JOHN: I'll start right away.

EXIT JOHN

OWNER: That boy's going to make me a whole passle of dollars, I can smell it!

GOON 1: He sure will boss, he's a natural

OWNER: I hire the help here, so next time wait for me to give the ok before you jump in and make any decisions for me!

GOON 1: But I never said a word boss!

OWNER: Dam that boy's goooood!

Angie you are spot on and thanks for the effort because I know that every point raised was salient.

What I try to explain to people is that the stuff I put up is raw as hell, but I had a block early this year after I got led down a garden path by some people in relation to a few sitcoms I have written, so at the moment I need to get my mojo back and I am just throwing up ideas as I think of them.

The editing you done there made the piece twice as good, but at the moment I just need to get my ideas out and in a month or so get down to tightening up my work.
But after a block if I start getting tied down to one thing my mind goes a bit mono.

The edit took less than 5 minutes, but it was worth it.

Hopefully you'll get loads of feedback now because it's easier to read.

Angie's done a good polish there.

But the sketch and idea itself is excellent I think.
The casino boss' dialogue is vivid, as is the set up.
And the "I never said a word boss" genuinely made me
laugh.

Good sketch.

Cheers JD I loved the line
"Son that's a mighty tall statement to make even on a Sunday"
I thought it was pure Texan, like the one off the Simpsons who specialises in foolish purchases.

I gave him a Dukes Of Hazzard voice and yeah,
the tall sunday line was mint.

I imagined him spitting out a mouthful into a can
after saying it.

I did like this one.
It's a lovely idea and works well.

Teddy, you a bit of an enigma .

You have something of the night in you in relation to your online persona, which you seem to be able to switch on and off. You remind me of another poster we had who had similar character traits.

Anyway, this sketch, with Angie's spot on editing, is very, very good indeed.

Thanks Will but I have no idea what you mean?
I am who I am and I do not post under any other name nor have I ever.
That's just not my style, I'm just up front and may appear verbally aggressive at times, but that's just me being a Scouser!.