Two men are playing golf when they notice a very little man with a shock of red hair and dressed in a green suit and a green bowler hat dart across the green and hide in a bush.
The two men signal to each other and silently creep around the bush and grab the little man.
1st Golfer
"Right you, what are you up too?"
The little man looks very nervous and replies in a thick Irish brogue
"Let me go you big ijuts I've done nothing wrong!"
2nd Golfer
"He's Irish"
1st Golfer
Eyes widen, then it dawns on him and he grips the little man harder as he speaks.
"He's a f**king Leprechaun that's what he is! We get three wishes!"
Little man
Sarcastically
"Even if I was and I'm not saying I am, even I know Leprechauns only give one wish"
2nd Golfer
"Money, make a wish for money!"
The little man tries to escape but the 1st Golfer keeps hold of him and looks down at him suspiciously.
1st Golfer
"They carry gold! Let's search the little bastard get the gold then we can wish for something else"
The two men start searching the little green man and he in turns starts screaming so the 2nd golfer knocks him out with a big log and the little man drops to the floor.
1st Golfer
"Oh my God you've killed it!"
2nd Golfer
Nervous unsure
"Its not really murder though is it? It's a f**king Leprechaun?"
1st Golfer
"Best just get the gold and bury him, no one even knows he was real so he won't be missed"
We see a coach on the hard shoulder of the motorway it is full of Irish Gaelic footballers all in green kits and scarfs etc.
The driver gets up and speaks to them.
"How long does it take your mascot to have a piss?"
