British Comedy Guide

The Boxer.

BOXING MANAGER VINNY PERRELLO IS IN THE GYM WITH HIS MAIN HEAVYWEIGHT CONTENDER GLEN "THE BOXER" FLOYD WHO IS WORKING THE PUNCHBAG WITH TRAINER BARNEY.

Vinny:
Hey! Get off the bag for a sec there Kid... Sanchez just pulled out & Jefferson needs someone to step in who's ready ...are you ready Kid?

Glen:
You serious? I'm gonna fight Jefferson? Oh I'm ready boss, I'm more than ready...You're the best Vinny, you got me a title shot. Just like you always said you would!

Vinny:
That's right Kid, the Big one! The IBU Intercontinental Heavyweight World Title.

Glen:
I won't let you down Vinny, with you & Barney in my corner I know can beat anybody.

Vinny:
That's the spirit Kid. Ok, I'm only going to say this once. Jefferson has been Champ for many years now,and his best days are long gone. He's nowhere near as fast as he used to be ,and I think he's there for the taking. but he does have one thing in his favour...

Glen:
What's that boss?

Vinny:
He's better than you in every single way I can think of.

Glen:
Bigger than me?

Barney:
No he's better than you! Much better. Oh yeah sorry he is bigger as well you were right.

Vinny:
He's more experienced than you, he's faster, more powerful, has a better chin and a far superior boxing brain,

Barney:
And if you had a wife, then his would be better looking.

Glen:
So you're saying I have to be at my very best.

Vinny:
No! It makes no difference whatsoever.

Glen:
But he's old & slow boss. You said that yourself

Vinny:
Yes, but you are young & slower I don't really know how I can explain this any better Kid!

Barney:
Now Jeffersons what you call a fighters fighter, whereas you are more the the kind of fighter that loses badly against his type of fighter.... If I have to draw you a picture I will.

Vinny:
Put it this way, If you were to fight Jefferson a hundred times you'd be dead after three.

Glen:
Well then I suppose this is going to be the defining fight of my career.

Vinny:
Yes it will Kid, yes it will.... You did say Final didn't you?

Glen:
I know you're just trying to rile me up here... oh you guys are good very very good

VINNY SHRUGS AT AT BARNEY

Barney:
I knew I shoulda bought that Venn Diagram.

Vinny:
Look we care about your health Glen. All we want you do is either get punched in the face quick & be knocked out or at least cover your face while the guy pummels you.

Glen:
I know what you guys are up to! You said more or less the same thing to me just before I fought Jerry 'The Hammer' Enjudy, and look what happened there.

Vinny:
He put you in a Coma for 5 years.

Glen:
Did he?
My memory's not what it was.

Barney:
Just keep those hands up

Vinny:
Go get him Kid!

It's funny and well worded like everything you do, just wondered if it peaks too soon?

"Glen:
What's that boss?

Vinny:
He's better than you in every single way I can think of."

= Hilarious. :D

I enjoyed this...the sprightly dialogue made it come to life on the page, "knew I should have brought that venn diagram" :D

Enjoyed this one, especially this line

"Yes, but you are young & slower I don't really know how I can explain this any better Kid!"

:)

A top notch comic caper, don't gild the Lilly, its good to go.

Great stuff, and a nice laugh in the first line with GLEN "THE BOXER" FLOYD (though you need to make it clear how the audience gets this information).

BTW, I thought you might enjoy this song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpRh3jdsgKo&feature=related

Very enjoyable indeed. Top dialogue, lots of laughs.

If you were to fight Jefferson a hundred times... Laughing out loud

Knockout...

Cheers all :)
Thanks for reading & thanks for the comments.

Another ray of Steve Sunshine, it's a bit long and the punch line is slight but the dialogue and the punchline are so on the nose the whole thing just sings.

I like it, all except the coma line, because when I read that I felt reality vanish. Better, I think, to make it something like "he flattened you with his first punch, hit ypu so hard your nose didn't pop out for a week!"

Cheers LL, good point.
I'll look at changing that line.

The twist came a bit too early for me, so the rest got a bit repetitive for me. If you could escalate it to more extremes then you might avoid the repetitive feeling.

It was ultra light but nice enough. Your sketches always seem to be quite radio friendly, is that a conscious thing?

Share this page