Got a handful of one-liners sent off. Had a few brilliant ideas for jokes, but sadly these didn't translate into brilliant jokes. One of my goals for next week is to come up with a few that I'd be happy to put up on the rejects thread!
Newsjack - Series 5 Page 14
Quote: Jinky @ September 13 2011, 12:16 AM BSTYour chances are less than 30% based on the maths but could be much higher or lower depending on how well you meet the NewsJack requirements.
What determines whether or not your sketch gets on is whether its any good or not. It's got little to do with probability. Unless you'd coach a football team by getting them to stand in the centre circle blasting in the vague direction of the opposite goal on the grounds that looking at the maths, one of them's bound to go in eventually.
just sent my stuff off. Now the dreaded wait until Thursday
Quote: Leevil @ September 13 2011, 3:47 PM BSTHas anyone posted any rejected Apps that we can see for example? Hang on, I mean any Vox Pops? Are these the exact same thing? I'm getting confused.
Yes - look at the unmined gold in this thread...
https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/20158/
There are others for earlier series.
30% is a very ambitious hit rate. There are about 900 submissions a week - and the success rate is erratic. The house writers are always credited and so are always taking up some of the slots.
I think of it as a lottery - I've had three one-liners on the show in about eight attempts, which I'm please with, but all of them were ones which I thought were weaker efforts. The first show I listened to included the joke about viagra/laxatives/ not knowing if I'm coming or going - which was first heard on the Ark. So, in summary, who knows?
Just listened to show 6 from the last series again and the standard is, shall we say, variable - some of the Apps barely get a titter.
Best advice would be to make it funny - if it's not a joke it won't get in.
If anyone can do anything with 'Boris breaking the glass ceiling' in the next twenty minutes, the credit is yours but I want half the fee if it gets used.
My hilarious but not suited mirth-filled gems have just giggled their comedy cyber-route to the NewsJack recycle bin. And yes, the craved after auto reply - this bit's intriguing:
"...due to the volume of submissions we get we are unable to respond to everyone individually..."
don't they reply to *no one** individually, except for the late afternoon email to the happy few come Thursday?
Quote: Nogget @ September 13 2011, 3:48 PM BSTDo you get your stuff proof-read? It might be just that they don't understand your work because of bad smelling.
Yup I've even had stuff proof read twice.
I'm not so stupid as to assume I wouldn't F**k up the English
Quote: Big Jack @ September 13 2011, 4:19 PM BSTYes - look at the unmined gold in this thread...
https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/20158/
There are others for earlier series.
Does anyone want to join my new live topical sketch show.
The Sootyj Slapshot
It involves me standing on a Circle Line Train shouting my jokes at people through a megaphone. Probably without trousers, possibly getting shot by an itchy trigger fingered copper.
I've got I think 2 spots for writer/perfiormers to join me.
Is it a gong show format ?
Well I'll have a 6 foot gong with me that I'll strike when ever I hit a punchline if that's what you mean?
Sent my one liners in about 15 minutes before the deadline. If I fail abjectly this series I shall blame it on the new screaming baby in my house (it's ok it is mine). I'm pinning my hopes on the Roald Dahl shed = porn one.
Did anyone else find it hard to decide exactly what sort of style Justin actually has has? A YouTube search suggested he spend a lot of time skateboarding and playing basketball.
Damn difficult to tell from the trailers.
Quote: Monkeywithtypewriter @ September 13 2011, 6:08 PM BSTSent my one liners in about 15 minutes before the deadline. If I fail abjectly this series I shall blame it on the new screaming baby in my house (it's ok it is mine). I'm pinning my hopes on the Roald Dahl shed = porn one.
Did anyone else find it hard to decide exactly what sort of style Justin actually has has? A YouTube search suggested he spend a lot of time skateboarding and playing basketball.
Yep it's like writing for 'Doctor Who' when you don't really know what the new doctor's going to be like. I imagine.
Who wants to see Lewis Macleod's patio door? Ok then here you go...