The Anti-Semetic Emperor and His New Joke...

The Emperor sits on his throne, a jester walks in.

EMPEROR:
Name?

WOODY ALLEN:
Woody Allen.

Emperor looks boringly at his watch.

EMPEROR:
Right, what you got for me?

WOODY ALLEN:
Two hoovers are sitting in a park, one turns to the other and says 'Where do hoovers go on holiday?' The second hoover just stands there looking dumb. So the first hoover says 'The Hoover Dam', and the second hoover still just stands there..!

The courtyard stands with abated breath, the Emperor cups his chin in his hands and ponders.

The Emperor clicks his fingers, two executioners arrive.

EMPEROR:
Off with his head!

Woody Allen is dragged away kicking and screaming.

WOODY ALLEN:
But your Emperorness, they're only plebs.
They won't know it's not funny.
Trust me, already, they will laugh.

EMPEROR:
F**king Jewish writers!
NEXT..!!!

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/14637/

You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

And with good cause!

Quote: sootyj @ July 18 2011, 4:24 PM BST

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/14637/

You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

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Your penguin wasn't an Emperor so I think I'm safe...

A poor defence, your splitting heirs.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ July 18 2011, 4:39 PM BST

A poor defence, your splitting heirs.

View original

Well apart from the sketchy emperor/penguin connection I don't know what you're on about...

No offence here Red, the first reply was aimed at the lawyer threat (And with just cause is a Simpson one liner aimed at the threat)
The second was just a piss poor joke.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ July 18 2011, 4:51 PM BST

No offence here Red, the first reply was aimed at the lawyer threat (And with just cause is a Simpson one liner aimed at the threat)
The second was just a piss poor joke.

View original

Mine was supposed to be funny too...!

Rather ironic considering the title of the piece..!!

What did you think of it anyway..?

It was quite good to be honest, it gave me inspiration to do this:

Four hamsters are driving around dressed as Nazis in an open top Mercedes.
As they pass a bagel shop a Mouse in a shabby coat and clogs runs over and petrol bombs them

It's the opening shot of an animated film that is set in Estonia called
'Fivel Fights Back and kills pox riddled homo Nazi hamsters!'
I'm hoping to sell it to Disney.

I loved Allens dialogue, and the sketch, but I don't think the anti-semitism is the strength here.

Just the idea of jesters failing to entertain their emperor is funny, you could have a line of famous comedians all by one trying out their schtick.

Mycintre "So my daughter says to me, Daddy are you Chinese?" Off with his head!

Howard: "Wouldn't it crazy, right, if, imagine yeah, what if Dr Who and a Teletubbie were in the movie Saw and then an eagle --" Off with his head.

Lee: "To me, the ramification of an ubiqitious state wherein, albeit lies the dystopian pretense of an William Blake-esque junction through--" Off with his head.

And so on...

Allen trying to explain it as they drag him off is class.

This sketch deserved more comments from people.

Got Woody Allen spot on...great stuff

Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 19 2011, 2:38 AM BST

This sketch deserved more comments from people.

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Thanks, it's going to take time to build up a fan base but at least no one's saying it's shite...

Quote: Shandonbelle @ July 19 2011, 9:14 AM BST

Got Woody Allen spot on...great stuff

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Thanks...

I like the premise... I don't think you have got Woody, though