AN ATHLETE IS RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS OF LONDON, WITH MAN-WITH-STOPWATCH IN TOW. THE ATHLETE STOPS OUTSIDE A JUICE BAR AND JOGS ON THE SPOT. THE MAN WITH STOPWATCH PEERS IN THE WINDOW AND SHAKES HIS HEAD. THE PAIR JOG ON. THEY COME TO ANOTHER JUICE BAR, WHERE THE ATHLETE REPEATS THE ROUTINE. WATCH MAN LOOKS IN THE WINDOW AND SEES AN "INSPIRED BY 2012' LOGO. HE NODS. THEY ENTER.
THE STOPWATCH MAN IS EJECTED BY A BURLY MAN IN BLACK SUIT.
MAN IN SUIT:
No trainers.
Im guessing you have to be a londoner?
To know what the London Olympics are? Not really. It's been in the papers and everything. Thanks for looking though.
Quote: Badge @ July 17 2011, 12:39 AM BSTTo know what the London Olympics are? Not really. It's been in the papers and everything.
I had no idea you could put news paper clippings up for critique?
Still no harm done I'll give you some feedback on the story as you've obviously found it that touching that you just had to share it .
First of all given the proliferation of Juice bars in the vicinity of this alleged incident and added to the fact the streets are so empty that people can just jog down the middle of them and once you have factored in the fact that juice bars client base is predominantly healthy lifestyle orientated, it would appear that the man in the suits stance on trainers is commercial suicide.!
Unless of course the man was not the actual proprietor/ franchisee but was in fact a bouncer?.
If that's the case and Juice bars (who keep roughly the same hours as cake shops) are now obliged to have bouncers to enforce draconian dress codes designed to prevent violent outbreaks among the throngs of sensibly shod smoothie drinkers, then I think something should and must be done!.
I think this clipping is a sad indictment of life in the metropolis and that a copy should be forward to Boris Johnson's office (Boris Johnson is the duly elected mayor of London)
Let him see what we have to deal with!
Not bad at all
never seen a security guard at a juice bar though..
This is London we're talking about, I've seen bouncers in Mothercare, granted he was only little but...
I like the sketch...
Yes from me. I normally hate pun based humour. I would have the man simply point to the sign that reads NO TRAINERS and keep it silent.
Could be snappier:
Sweaty Man, jogging on the spot, waiting to get into nightclub.
Bouncer stops him at door and says, "Oi, no trainers!".
Reveal the Trainer standing by the Sweaty Man. He walks off, dejected.
Or whatever.
Thank you for your feedback. I was trying for something 2012 Olympics rather than nightclub-based (and I think that one must have been done before).
I like Marc's suggestion of keeping it as a silent.
Liked it 