Dog Gone

A middle age couple are walking through a park, they have a dog.

The woman takes a yellow tennis ball out of her body warmer and throws it for the dog to catch.

The dog chases the ball and as it does so in comes into a snipers scope, the picture jerks and the dog is now laying dead.

The couple see the dog shot and then link arms as they walk away, the woman takes a tissue from her body warmer and sobs into it, the man consoles her.

Man
"He was sick love, you knew that, we had no choice, we did it because we loved him"

The couple walk away cuddling into each other for support.

A man in a white coat and a stethoscope is putting a large rifle with telescope into the back of a van, he closes the door and we see the sign.
24 HOUR MOBILE VET SERVICE

Not sure why, but it doesn't quite do it for me as it is.

The set up was interesting and the 24-hour mobile vet service was also interesting - as all vets seem happy to do is kill your pet and then charge you for the pleasure.

I think there's a better idea in there somewhere.

If the dog had to be put down then not a bad way for him to go...a nice idea, not all that to it though.

Not sure why, but this is funny to me.

Twisted, but funny and somehow touching.

I think "It's the way he would have wanted to go" could be inserted somewhere.

That is a very fair point,and I should have put it across better.

I think perhaps there has to be a connection made between the couple and sniper, maybe their job or something...

Your both spot on, it was a throw away one, but if I did work on it I would take the advice you have given and I know it would be better for it.

It's dark but there's scope for this mobile vet character who dispatches animals in a variety of Liam-Neeson-Taken ways, breaking necks from behind etc.

My brain went into rewrite mode on this one which I never do on things I think are weak. If there was a set of preceeding days in which they try and take the suspicious pup to the vets but the dog won't budge, or this could even be covered in a phone conversation.

Vet: Just leave it to me.

So they're like "It's okay boy c'mon, we're just going for a nice walk"

ps- see what I did with the word 'scope' earlier? Eh, Eh?

It is dark, but I do like the idea. Maybe you could have the bloke friends with the sniper and make a series of running gags?

sniper takes out dog, secretly nods and winks to his mate on the top of a building
friend argues with a man at work, sniper takes him out and the man texts him to say thanks
friend gets beaten to a parking space at the supermarket, gets out of his car looks up and nods

etc
Maybe that is taking it too far though

good well rounded points from Ishy & JD, Its a throw away so I'll leave as it stands, if I was to update it I would run with the advice given so thank you.