I'd be very happy for any constructive critique about this short parody of Most Haunted, hoping that it isn't too long and boring. Thanx
MOST TAUNTED part 1
Scene 1: Dungeon.
Dr. Ciaran O'Keeffe, Medium Chris Conway, a blonde Yvette Fielding lookalike and a bald cameraman are inside a dark small room, which is supposed to be the dungeon or a torture chamber. Chris is picking up some information.
Chris; There is a presence here, it's a man... I felt him as we walked into the room.
Ciaran; Is it someone who had died here?
Chris; Aye, definitely... I'm getting a feeling of dread and discomfort... name's Edward. He was tortured and killed in here for slander and theft, he's still here and...
Blonde woman interrupts; (shouts in bullying tone) Edward!? Come on Edward, we know you're here! Come forward, talk to us. Chris, is he still here?
Chris; Aye... he's trying to communicate. He's a wee bit shy...
[muffled noises like someone without a tongue trying to speak can be heard]
Blonde woman interrupts; That's not good enough Edward, come on, speak up!! Are you not able to talk to women, is that your problem Edward? Has the cat got your tongue?
[muffled noises continue]
Ciaran; Well, can I hear something? Yes I can. Can I say it really is a voice from the spirit world? No I can't.
Chris; He wants to communicate, he's trying... He's like... tongue tied and...
[muffled voice noises continue with more insistence]
Blonde woman interrupts; [suddenly excited and almost hysterical] Shhh!! Oh my God, did you hear that?? Did you not hear that? It was a sort of 'waaaaeeeee', really loud, it came from over there. [shouts] Come on, do it again please, sir!
Everyone randomly; Yes, I did / Yes, I heard it, definitely / Aye
[They listen in silence and noise repeats]
Blonde woman; There it is again!
Cameraman; Sorry lads, that was me, I've got to go find the toilet... sorry, bloody take away that I 'ad earlier.
Everyone randomly; uuuh / flippin heck
[At this point the cameraman puts his camera down on top of a table and goes out. The camera is left casually pointing to a corner of the room, in the opposite direction to where the team stands. Here, the poor spirit of Edward can be seen... wrapped up like a mummy, sitting on a chair and desperately trying to make a noise (he has no tongue!) but no one can understand what he's saying. The team never look in his direction and continue to talk amongst themselves. Someone moves the camera so that everyone in the room can be seen, including Edward]
Blonde woman; Alright Edward, can you copy me?! Come on you daft sod, copy me!! Do you know this one?
[The blonde woman slaps her knees and claps, like the introduction of Queens's 'We will rock you'. She does it twice. Edward nods and grumbles, he wants to copy but then his hands enter the camera view and we can all see that he hasn't any hands either (completely covered in bandages) and he mimes someone trying desperately to copy what the blonde requested without hands]
Chris; He's still trying, he's willing to communicate but I feel that it's difficult for him, he's like...
Blonde woman interrupts; Last chance Edward, we're going! Come on, is that all you can do?? For the last time say something or copy this!
[Blonde continues clapping, whistling, jumping up and down even throwing stones etc...Scene ends with Edward desperately trying to get noticed. He rocks the chair a little, and a noise is finally heard by all and they stop for a moment before leaving. But Ciaran who is nearest to the door and to the inside of the room says:]
Ciaran; Did we hear a noise? Yes we did. Can we say for certain that it was made by the spirit of Edward? No, we can't"]
They all leave the room. The blonde is heard saying "stupid, daft, bleedin' idiot of a spirit..."
Ciaran replies "Well, could he be a stupid, daft blooming idiot? Yes he could, but might he be a spirit? It might be, or it might not."
Blonde woman snaps; "Oh, piss off Ciaran!" [voices fade]
Narration [team members in a dark corridor can be seen]
Blonde woman narrates; Disappointed with Edward's lack of communication, we move on to the next room where I decide to conduct a séance, hoping to make contact with the spirits that dwell in this castle. What will the night ahead bring as we enter deeper into the realm of the unknown.
[short preview clip starts]
Female ghost hunter is heard and partially seen (Cath parody) screaming hysterically in the dark;
Cath; Oh my God, something touched me, someone grabbed me, pushed me, pulled me...
Everyone randomly; Calm down! /There's no one there ya silly cow! / You're alright now
Cath still shaking and fussing; I could have sworn that... someone touched me leg, me arm, me hair, me...me...
Chris; Aye ...
Cath; thanks... me eye, me nose, me coat...
Blonde woman; Well, there's no one here, so shut up. Shut up!
Everyone randomly; Look there's no one! / Calm down / It was just your imagination
[Cameraman puts down the camera and close up of his hands opening Cath's purse, removing a few notes of money and putting them into his pocket is seen. He tosses the purse into the corner as he says;]
Cameraman; Yep, your imagination!
[short preview clip ends]
Shall I not bother to post part two and spare you??
Ronnie 
