Jerry Ball's Big Night Out...

INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

COMPERE
And finally tonight, making his comedy debut, let's have a big comedy club welcome for.... MR JERRY BALL...!!!

Jerry(30's) enters stage right to lukewarm applause.

JERRY
Hey, everybody, I'm Jerry Ball.

MALE HECKLER
No shit..!

JERRY
Hey, a fan. How you doing?

MALE HECKLER
F**k off..!

JERRY
Hey, isn't that in Bulgaria?

MALE HECKLER
No, but I wish the f**k you was.

JERRY
Language, sir, ladies present.

FEMALE HECKLER
I ain't no lady, I'm his wife.

JERRY
Hey, that's great, where you folks from?

FEMALE HECKLER
F**k off..!!

MALE HECKLER
It's in Bulgaria.

INT. STAGE RIGHT - 3 LONG MINUTES LATER

JERRY
(decidedly dejected)
Jesus, some people are so mean.

COMPERE
Don't worry about it, son, you want me to go have a word with them?

JERRY
No, it's okay, they're my parents, I'll tell them...

Hahaha, heres what I think: I wanted this sketch to just go on an on and on, although the punchline tends to a standard heckle put down: "Thanks,that's my mum"

So the punchline wiped the huge grin off my face.

And also, there's something amazing about this character that I can't put my finger on, maybe the sadness?

I think it makes a better "scene" than a "sketch" and I reckon if you strike whilst the iron's hot you could crank out a whole show around Jerry Ball. Seriously. Theres a sense of pathos, or maybe I'm reading too much into it?

Thanks, JD, it was inspired by the great Woody Allen, he always struck me as being a somewhat sorrowful yet pathetic man...

Have you ever seen a video from the 60's of his stand up routine, The Moose..?

Very nice but it's more of an extract then a sketch in it's self.

Agree with Sooty, not enough in it to warrant a whole sketch but would be good shortened and slotted into another related sketch.

Never watched much Woody Allen standup, gonna look up that clip though.

I never appreciated/liked his films the way film polls do, they say Annie Hall is genius. Hmm, okay.

I read this again and I still think the same, you should spend a few minutes seeing if you can draft a full dimensional character, a heckled comedian, once was relevent, now out of date on the student circuit, lives in a bedsit listening to cassettes of The Comedians and reliving past glories. Winner New Faces '89 etc. Something about (minus punchline) this that gets me.

Scope for genuine darkness and light and ya can thank me in your Bafta acceptance speech.

Hi RedZed, I loved the heckling; intelligently written and very engaging. It went on for the right length and felt like it built well to its punchline. Speaking of which... The punchline WAS funny -- I laffed -- but it is very, very old.

Can't think in which way it was inspired by Woody Allen. But anyway... I like Allen a lot, but his stand up.. not such a big fan of it.

Google 'Woody Allen The Moose' you should find an old black and white video from around 1965 on YouTube...

It's one of the oldest stand up routines I can remember and still one of my favourites, the punchline is a classic...

Either way it works and is enjoyable

Thanks, everyone, you're too kind...

By way of a treat I'm gonna post the second part just for you...