Ronnie Barker is standing behind the counter in a hardware store, in walks John Cleese carrying a parrot in a cage, he approaches the counter.
JOHN CLEESE:
I wish to register a complaint.
RONNIE BARKER grabs four candles from beneath the counter and places them on the counter.
RONNIE BARKER:
Four candles.
JOHN CLEESE:
No I don't think you understand, I'm here to register a complaint. This parrot you sold me yesterday is dead!
RONNIE BARKER:
Oh sorry, this is a hardware store, we don't sell parrots, we sell hardware items like Pine Floorboards.
JOHN CLEESE:
Pining for the Fjords?!
RONNIE BARKER:
No, Pine Floorboards, I think you want the pet shop next door, This is a hardware store.
JOHN CLEESE:
Ah right then, in that case I'll have half a pound of Cheddar.
RONNIE BARKER:
Sorry we don't sell cheddar cheese, not much call for it
JOHN CLEESE:
Not much call for it? It's the single most popular cheese in the world.
RONNIE BARKER:
Not round here, because this is a hardware store, the cheese shop is across the street.
JOHN CLEESE:
Ah I get you, a hardware store, in that case, do you have any linseed oil?
RONNIE BARKER:
Lindsay Doyle? I didn't know that you knew him, how is he doing nowadays?
JOHN CLEESE:
Look I didn't come here for an argument.
RONNIE BARKER:
Good Job, the argument shop is on the high street.
JOHN CLEESE:
Well you have been no help whatsoever, I'll bid you good day.
JOHN CLEESE leaves the shop, on the way out he passes RONNIE CORBETT who is entering the shop with a large box covered by a cloth. RONNIE CORBETT approaches the counter.
RONNIE BARKER:
Where the bloody hell have you been?
RONNIE CORBETT:
I've been at that new pet shop next door, they've sold me a lovely racing pigeon.
RONNIE BARKER:
Lets see it then.
RONNIE CORBETT places the cage on the counter and removes the cloth. Inside the cage is a duck.
