A couple of revised sketches.
Sketch 1.
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FADE IN:
A televised Comedy Roast.
Adolph Hitler sits behind a long table, Generic Comedians sit either side of him. They stand up and takes turns to do bits.
COMEDIAN 1
Ahh, here he is, first time I saw the news footage,
Im like "Hey dad, Charlie Chaplin's invading poland."
Everyone laughs.
COMEDIAN 2
I think it's inspirational that a man imprisoned for a
misunderstanding has time to write a novel, I do, but
c'mon Adolph, one book? Jeffrey Archer knocked out three
whilst he was on bail.
Everyone laughs, Hitler points at the comedian.
HITLER
Ahh, this guy, this guy, always bustin' balls.
COMEDIAN 3
So Adolph, tell us all again, why did you cross the road?
Was it "to get to the Genocide..."
The panel all laugh.
COMEDIAN 4
(From end of table)
Shame Eva couldn't make it out of the bunker tonight,
I hear he's yet to tell her the war's over!
Hitler cracks up, the comedians pat him on the back.
COMEDIAN 5
He may have murdered over half the world's Jewish
population, but goddamit, he sure as hell saved the
History channel.
They all crack up again, Hitler's having a good time.
COMEDIAN 6
Y'know a lot of people compared him to George Bush
Junior, which is unfair, Hitler was actually VOTED
into office, and his people actually LIKED him!
Hitler shakes his head, cries laughing. His face reddens and it seems he suffers a silent heart attack.
The comedians all crack up laughing. They continue making jokes around Hitler's body. They lift his lifeless arm in a nazi salute.
COMEDIAN 1
Well gee whiz, I guess he didn't have the ball to
hear some jokes.
COMEDIAN 2
Haha, maybe someone ought'a dial nein nein nein...
We fade out without a punchline...
Sketch 2.
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INT. FLAT - NIGHT
A young couple are watching a DVD, sharing popcorn.
GIRLFRIEND
So tell me again, why is that chap so sad, I thought
he had lots of money?
BOYFRIEND
(sighs)
He does. He's thinking about his parents death.
GIRLFRIEND
Oh, I see.
Silence.
GIRLFRIEND
So who was that woman he was talking to earlier?
BOYFRIEND
That's his girlfriend.
GIRLFRIEND
Oh.
BOYFRIEND
Can we watch this in peace or not? Any more questions?
GIRLFRIEND
No.
Silence.
GIRLFRIEND
So hang on... why is he dressed up like a bat?
