This sketch is a bit weird

It was an attempt to write a sketch that would only really work in the context of a live, radio style recording/show like Radio Rejects.

Unfortunately they aren't going to use it but I'd like to know what people think of this, as it was an interesting experiment trying to write it.

CONFUSION:

MO:Good morning Sir. I'm having a bit of a problem reconciling the fruit and veg accounts.

DAN M:Good morning Susan. How are the end of year accounts going?

MO:Jones retired last week remember?

DAN M:Why isn't Jones dealing with that account?

MO:A missing invoice I'm afraid Sir.

DAN Mh yes, so he did. So Susan, what's the problem?

MOSLIGHTLY CONFUSED) Yes, I don't know how it could have happened.

DAN MSLIGHTLY CONFUSED) A missing invoice?

MOVERY CONFUSED) Yes. I've double checked everything thoroughly and there's definitely a mistake in there.

DAN MVERY CONFUSED) Have you made sure there's definitely an error? Perhaps you should double check.

MOne for a large delivery of...

BOTH PAUSE LOOKING CONFUSED.

DAN M REALISES WHAT'S HAPPENED AND STARTS AGAIN. BOTH LOOK HAPPY TO BE GETTING IT RIGHT.

DAN M:Good morning Susan. How are the end of year accounts going?

MO:Good morning Sir. I'm having a bit of a problem reconciling all the fruit and veg accounts.

DAN M:Why isn't Jones dealing with that account?

MO:Jones retired last week remember?

DAN Mh yes, so he did. So Susan, what's the problem?

MO:A missing invoice I'm afraid Sir.

DAN M:A missing invoice? I don't know how it could have happened.

MOSLIGHTLY CONFUSED) Have you made sure there's definitely an error? Perhaps you should double check.

DAN MSLIGHTLY CONFUSED) Yes. I've double checked everything thoroughly and there's definitely a mistake in there.

MOVERY CONFUSED) Which invoice is missing?

DAN MVERY CONFUSED) One for a large delivery of...

BOTH STOP AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN CONFUSION. DAN C-H STEPS FORWARD POINTING TO THE SCRIPT.

DAN C-H: I think you skipped a line somewhere. (POINTS AT DAN M) you say, "Good morning Susan. How are the end of year accounts going?"

DAN M:Good morning Sir. I'm having a bit of a problem reconciling all the fruit and veg accounts.

DAN C-H: Why isn't Jones dealing with that account?

MO STEPS BACK, LOOKING CONFUSED AT BEING LEFT OUT NOW.

DAN M:Jones retired last week remember?

DAN C-H: Oh yes, so he did. So Susan, what's the problem?

DAN MVERY CONFUSED) A missing invoice, I'm afraid...

BOTH STOP AGAIN.

DAN M:What the...?

LYDIA STEPS FORWARD.

LYDIA:Look. (Points to Dan M) You're the boss, he's Susan. You start the sketch with the line, "Good morning Susan. How are the end of year accounts going?" (POINTS TO DAN C-H) and he continues with...

DAN C-H:Good morning Sir. I'm having a bit of a problem reconciling all the fruit and veg accounts.

LYDIA:Why isn't Jones dealing with that account?

DAN M STEPS BACK CONFUSED AT BEING LEFT OUT. DAN C-H AND LYDIA RUSH THROUGH THE REST OF THE SKETCH BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE GOES WRONG.

DAN C-H:Jones retired last week remember?

LYDIAh yes, so he did. So Susan, what's the problem?

DAN C-H:A missing invoice I'm afraid Sir.

LYDIA:A missing invoice?

DAN C-H:Yes, I don't know how it could have happened.

LYDIA:Have you made sure there's definitely an error? Perhaps you should double check.

DAN C-H:Yes. I've double checked everything thoroughly and there's definitely a mistake in there.

LYDIA:Which invoice is missing?

DAN C-Hne for a large delivery of root vegetables. Genus Brassica, species rapa apparently. But we still need to account for it.

LYDIABIG PAUSE) Well...that's a turnip for the books!

I got a bit lost. But I think that's my fault. It would be easier to appreciate the farce hearing it performed. It's well written, not sure about the pun-ch line. May have to reread.

It's definitely one that would need to be performed to work.

It was a bit of a bugger to write too. And the punchline is intentionally dodgy.

When they finally got it right it worked well, don't think the first parts lend anything to it otherwise...

The nominal sketch they were attempting was totally not the point of the thing.

Oh well, it was an experiment that seems not to have worked.

Shame really - the idea behind it was awesome in my head.

This sketch grew on me the more I read it. From a What?? To a Ahhh, I see.

What initially sounds like nonsense and out of synch, becomes clearer when you see it's a script rehearsal... I think the "scene" itself is pretty average but Im assuming that's the point "turnip etc" and the actual point of the sketch is the mistimed dialogue, so when......

You know what? I can't explain myself, but I get it and like it.

What may be average can be made into sheer brilliance by the ingenuity of the actors involved, in the same way something brilliant can be made average by amateur actors or enthusiasts.

I think, given the right people, this could be a good one.

At least someone got it.

Yes, unfortunately it only really works in the context of a show being read from script as if it was a recording for radio - it wouldn't work acted on stage, on television, on the radio itself or, apparently, on the screen as a script.

There's a good concept there, but it doesn't fly.

If Fry and Laurie could get away with Tony and Control you could get away with this I'm sure. All you need to do is become part of a much loved comedy duo.

Sounds like a plan!