Newton's Law of Silence

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - DAY

AN ANGRY FARMER HAS ISAAC NEWTON BY THE COLLAR AND BOOTS HIM UP THE BOTTOM; NEWTON STUMBLES TO THE GROUND AND SEEKS REFUGE AT THE FOOT OF AN APPLE TREE. THE FARMER HUFFS OFF. NEWTON DUSTS HIMSELF OFF, TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND STRAIGHTENS HIS HAIR PRECIOUSLY. SUDDENLY AN APPLE HITS HIM ON THE HEAD, HE LOOKS UP ANGRILY. AFTER A SHORT DELAY NEWTON LOOKS OVERJOYED WITH SUDDEN REALISATION. HE HOPS TO HIS FEET WITH APPLE IN HAND.

FADE TO BLACK

FADE UP

EXT. PIG FARM - DAY

NEWTON, WITH HIS TROUSERS AROUND HIS ANKLES, IS TRYING TO MOUNT A PIG WITH THE APPLE FORCED IN HIS MOUTH, MUFFLING HIS ATTENTION-GRABBING OINKS.

END OF SKETCH

I think it needs some dialogue from the farmer to explain:
a - the bloke is Isaac Newton and
b - he has been caught because of noisy pigs.

Made me snicker. Quite like it. Pretty much agree with Lady Laughter, tho.

How do you like them apples!

I don't think you need to point out his name. Costume and the apple falling pretty much does it. Dialogue at the end from Isaac maybe re squealing. Or the sound of squealing at the beginning as Isaac is marched out of shed etc and keep it a silent sketch.

Been done before, but I can't think where.. it'll come to me.

Somerset

Heh.. there was a "Deliverance" spoof with the apple-in-the-mouth gag.. and Newton apple skits a-plenty.. but I still can't remember specifics.

Probably better to say it feels familiar or I think I've seen similar than "it's been done before" in that case.

Ummm.. no...

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ July 5 2011, 10:22 AM BST

and Newton apple skits a-plenty..

View original

Which is rather the point, finding a new angle. It is a BCG initiation ritual that you MUST post an Isaac Newton sketch.

A man in a powered wig is sitting beneath a tree when an apple falls on his head, the man catches the apple and begins to ponder, suddenly the entire tree falls on him killing him instantly.

Two young boys are on the other side of the tree one is holding an axe.

Boy with Axe
"Oh God what have I done?, I'll have to tell my mum"

Friend
"George if you own up to this you'll never be president!"

George
"F**k it we'll blame the Indians!"

Thanks all. I'll have a Google to check for originality.

I wouldn't bother, there are a few on here who claim to have heard everything and submit nothing.
You thought of it and it worked, don't be worrying, its not like you have to post under oath!

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ July 5 2011, 1:27 PM BST

...its not like you have to post under oath!

View original

What was that naked ceremony with Aaron and Ian Wolf about then?

Cheers, Terry.