After reading Micheal MOnkhouse's stand up and Charley I loaded up word and started writing here we go, this is rough draft but see what you think. I have a problem with stand up coz I dont wanna stop and it get angrier and angrier as it goes along lol
So I'm work, Oh hello by the way, I don't really have time for introductions if the guy on before me did his job you know who I am I know who you are because I can see you all looking at your watches planning how many drinks you can get in before closing.
So were was I.... YES! Work in! I am in work and I sit next to this woman lovely body nice face, dull god she's dull. Sits there all day working, I find myself just spouting crazy shit to get any form of reaction. “Last nigt I was mounted by a Horse wearing a crocodile husk." Nothing like a stone, maybe she’s frozen in time on a continous loop a quantum leap gone bad you know?, or I’m moving so fast in the day it appears she is completely still. What other reason can there be I’m a good looking well dressed male with a healthy sexual appetite sometimes I fantasise about dressing the barmaid up in a Chewbacca costume but not every week.
Last time I had starwars themed sex was when I was in college, man that was bizarre it was a good job we were off our faces or that would have melted our minds. Ever seen Darth Vader getting his Light saber sucked by a jawa? No? No? There is a guy in the back nodding, I knew there was someone else in the room I could hear something like beating of the drum.
But sexual deviancy really isn’t funny there are many polar bears still out in the cold having to deal with being raped. I mean what kind of a person goes to Antarctic and rape a polar bear? I dunno do you? Gotta be some big handed bastard just to reach around, I don’t think I could do it, I hate the cold.
