I suppose that as 'comedy' this may be a bit borderline, but here goes:
Edited 18/06/07 to remove lots of the over-done pseudo German dialect, as per David's suggestion. Thanks Mate!
Farter’s Day
EXT Early Evening - The veranda of Kurt’s ranch house approx. 42KM SW of Buenos Aires
Five very old men (Kurt, Franz, Jurgen, Klaus and Helmut) are sprawled around a table containing the debris from an earlier meal and several empty wine and schnapps bottles. Kurt is puffing on and old meerschaum and Jurgen has just lit a cigar. Franz has fallen asleep.
JURGEN: Thank you, Kurt… you are alvays putting on a goot spread for ze Farter’s Day.
KURT: (Between puffs) Is as it shoot be… there cannot be many more times… we must make ze best of it.
KLAUS: I am no longer hearing from my children. They would prefer not to be reminded of the glorious Farter-lant… they say it is a bad thing.
JURGEN: Ya… they all prefer to be forgetting… but they do not realise how the Farters that came to this Gott-forsaken country… where the trains always run late… haved helped them over the year-ss.
KURT: My son, Villy, is the Farter-lant’s European Commissioner… he is telling to me that all the uzzer Commissioners is a load off vankers. One day it is possible Villy is making a big mark in the Farter Land.
FRANZ: (Stirs from sleep) There are no trains in zis country… so there is no point in vaiting for one. (Franz then grunts, folds his arms… and starts snoring again).
KURT: (Quietly) There is trains… but I think Franz’s brain ‘as left ze rails long ago. (Normal voice) where woss I? Ah yes… the Europe sink... is like song-con-test… Villy is saying it is not sink-ing in tune… and they are letting the Bolsheviks vin all the time. Vee should be always vinning … one day my son will also be seeing to that. (Reaches for bottle) Have some more schnapps. (pours liberal amount into each guest’s glass).
KLAUS: Where is Adolf by the way. Is he still be-hink kept in zee freezer somewhere?
JURGEN: Ya… I went to see ‘im ze uzzer day. Is not good… vun off his arms is fallen off… the vun on ze left… it is fortunate when I sink of it. The uzzer vun would present a prop-lem for him when we vake him up. But like ze rest of ze world our Adolf is falling to bits.
KLAUS: Some-sing vill come up. Ze Farter-lant will make zee technology vun day. (pauses) Well my frents it is time to bring ziss day to an end. I vood like to make ze final toast before vee part. Please, vake up Franz… (Kurt stands as the others also rise to their feet, Franz too once he has been prodded awake)
KLAUS: (Continues) … I am making zee toast… (they all raise their glasses) to zee Farter-lant and many more Farter’s Days as ziss has been.
As the group make their toast there is a rustling sound from the tree-line. Four black-clad balaclava masked figures carrying AK-47 weapons emerge and head towards the veranda. A grenade is lobbed into the middle of the table and as it goes off there is a hail of automatic gunfire that reduces everything on the verandah to shreds. Finally…
BALACLAVA1: Right… it’s done… that’s another bunch of old farts who won’t be causing any more trouble… let’s get out of here before the Guardia arrive.
Fade to black.
