Been away for a while doing some OU stuff, managed to get this typed up, read, enjoy and leave feedback...
CUT TO:
SCENE 6 INT. FOYER - DAY
EMLYN ENTERS THROUGH THE MAIN DOORS, FOLLOWED BY TWO MEN, AND A WOMAN, SUITED BUSINESS PEOPLE.
EMLYN So this is the reception on your right.
MAN 1 Anchors?
EMLYN That's our site chippy.
MAN 1 I didn't realise you had your own.
EMLYN Course it does, it's policy not to allow hot food onto the site. The gate has to keep a close eye on that.
MAN 2 How dya police that?
EMLYN Most guests are respectful, although there was one incident with a rotisserie chicken I remember. The boys all call me rover, like a sniffer dog.
WOMAN Does the centre see a lot of violence?
EMLYN No more than the average holiday destination, there's plenty on offer to keep 'em busy see. Miss Wenna won't allow footy tournaments, I'm sure when she looks about herself she thinks she still sees the seventies.
CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL ALL FOUR LOOKING ABOUT THEMSELVES AT THE AGING DECOR AND SHOWADDYWADDY ARE PLAYING THROUGH THE SPEAKER SYSTEM.
WOMAN (Looking at watch) It's eleven.
EMLYN Right it is, follow me.
EMLYN LEADS THE THREE TO WENNA'S OFFICE AND KNOCKS ON THE DOOR.
WENNA (O.S.) Bloody hell fire, what now? Come on in.
CUT TO: SCENE 7 INT. WENNA'S OFFICE - DAY
EMLYN AND THE BUSINESS PEOPLE ENTER THE OFFICE; WENNA IS LEANING BACK IN HER SEAT, FEET ON HER DESK.
EMLYN Miss Wenna, these people are here to...
WENNA For cryin' out loud Emlyn, (Turns to guests) I didn't...(Beat) I'm sorry. Do I... (Swings legs down from desk)
EMLYN We did have a note on the gate Miss...
MAN 1 I called and arranged for us to meet.
WENNA I've no entry in my...
MAN 1 We spoke Tuesday last week. Anyhow, may I ask, when was the last time you decorated?
WOMAN Your foyer madam,
MAN 2 Yes your office is very restful, I imagine it's a right little haven.
WENNA Things are not always as they seem. Our venue is given a fresh coat annually, don't you smell the fresh paint?
WOMAN We never noticed...
MAN 1 When a venue is tired and outdated, we offer a face lift.
MAN 2 That's right, and it seems to us that things here are just beginning to look a little old hat.
WENNA (Yawning) So this is what you do is it? Walk into people's places of work, telling them that their decor is not up to scratch, and then for a fee, because I don't see Claire Sweeney anywhere, offer your services.
EMLYN (Nervously) Miss Wenna...
WOMAN I know it appears forceful, but it's good to get these things out in the open.
WENNA It is is it? Well then... (Gets to feet) Do you for one second think that I would come to you to modernise my venue? A substandard Colin and Justin? (To woman) Where you fit in I don't know.
MAN 1 No need to...
WENNA There isn't? I'm not taking advice on furnishings from a man in a cheap suit, that's not exactly cashmere is it? My venue has this look for a reason, it's retro, the seventies are back!
MAN 2 Did they ever leave?
EMLYN (Desperate) Oh please, no...
WENNA Some kind of gurus are you, then tell me, what's kitsch?
WOMAN We never claimed to be gurus! We simply made an observation that the decor in this venue could perhaps be updated, and as a growing company in the industry we offered our services.
WENNA Jago's Cove is a pirate themed, independently run Holiday Park. Tell me, where am I missing the boat? Should I knock out my dividing walls for a glorious open space? State of the art bifolding doors? An indoor Koi pond maybe, bring the outdoors indoors as they say. Maybe I could get on the blower to Damien Hurst and have him slice a giant squid in half for a feature in the restaurant.
EMLYN (Pleading) I think it's time...
MAN 2 (Ignoring Emlyn) Be fair, we never suggested anything like that.
MAN 1 I think the Koi pond is a goer though.
MAN 2 Indeed. We too share your enthusiasm for the theme, we just thought that perhaps it was time to leave behind Treasure Island and hold onto the coattails of Johnny Depp.
WENNA You do realise that I, along with a dedicated, talented team have managed to make this centre a success for the last thirty years. When I moved from Marazion, I brought with me, a little piece of Cornish heritage. I had the chance to open a chain of Cornish themed holiday parks some years ago, after the success of BBC's Merlin. I turned it down!
MAN 1 Christ almighty, why?
WENNA I wanna keep my regulars happy. I have seen generations of the same family return, year on year. It has made them happy, and kept me comfortable, as well as putting my son through university. I do not see a need for change.
MAN 2 (Thinking out loud) There could have been a Smuggler's Cove, or better yet, a Tintagel Knights.
WENNA Precisely the reason I turned down the opportunity.
WOMAN I think I'm beginning to warm to your ideals.
EMLYN Thank goodness.
WOMAN I really appreciate what you're trying to do by creating your very own piece of Cornwall here in the North West.
WENNA Why, thank you.
WOMAN What is it about Bangors Whistle?
WENNA This is my home, and I don't have to commute.
WOMAN Ah, the driving.
WENNA Well, there used to be a man... (Looks at empty diary) You know you are definitely not in my diary for today, see. (Holds up dairy)
MAN 1 (To Man 2) Ever thought of running your own site? It can't be that hard, I'm taken by Tintagel Knights
MAN 2 Plenty of scope.
EMLYN I think it's time to go you three.
WENNA Emlyn, at last. Thank you and good day.
MAN 1 I wish I could say that it was nice meeting
you.
WENNA (At the end of her tether) Oh piss off!
EMLYN LEADS THE THREE BUSINESS PEOPLE OUT OF THE ROOM. WENNA IS ALONE, SHE OPENS A DRAWER IN A FILING CABINET AND PICKS UP A HIDDEN BOTTLE OF GIN. SHE UNSCREWS THE CAP AND TAKES A SNIFF, SHE PULLS A FACE. WITHOUT TAKING A SIP, THE LID GOES BACK ON AND THE BOTTLE IS RETURNED TO IT'S HOME. WENNA RETURNS TO HER DESK AND SITS BEHIND IT, SHE OPENS A SECOND DRAWER AND REMOVES A PACKET OF GUM. WENNA EMPTIES THE ENTIRE PACKET INTO HER MOUTH AND BEGINS CHEWING, OUT COME TWO STRESS BALLS, SHE BEGINS SQUEEZING THEM VERY HARD, LEANING FORWARD WITH HER EYES CLOSED AND HER ELBOWS ON THE DESK.