Most psychologists say you want to f**k your mother
Dr Limes is a mother f**ker.
Who's ready to listen.
Logline crits Page 2
Just logged in this morning and saw all the extra messages. Some great ideas here so I'm confident I'll crack this nut today. What a helpful bunch you are!
Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 8 2011, 8:14 AM BSTJust logged in this morning and saw all the extra messages. Some great ideas here so I'm confident I'll crack this nut today. What a helpful bunch you are!
Without being funny what is your show about. Write a line that describes it - doesn't have to be only 25 words and work back from that.
So in a sentence or two what is your show about?
Quote: Marc P @ June 8 2011, 8:54 AM BSTWithout being funny what is your show about. Write a line that describes it - doesn't have to be only 25 words and work back from that.
So in a sentence or two what is your show about?
I'd agree with this. Start by getting it down to a decent synopsis then edit it down to the required length.
I'd also add it doesn't need to be 25 words either. If you can write the perfect log line in 15 words then job done.
Quote: phreaky @ June 8 2011, 9:50 AM BSTI'd agree with this. Start by getting it down to a decent synopsis then edit it down to the required length.
I'd also add it doesn't need to be 25 words either. If you can write the perfect log line in 15 words then job done.
Yep, did all that, which led to the first version I posted on this thread! I'm also aware that 25 words is the limit not the actual required number of words!
Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 8 2011, 10:37 AM BSTYep, did all that, which led to the first version I posted on this thread! I'm also aware that 25 words is the limit not the actual required number of words!
I meant do it here evan and then we might be better able to help.
I know these are of no use - I'm not even sure what a log line is - but I thought of them last night when I couldn't sleep:
Being a psychologist, Dr Lime believes in laughter therapy: Mwhahahahaha!
Evil. Genius. Psychologist. If you thought the treatment was criminal, wait until you see the bill.
When his methods are questioned, evil psychologist - Dr Lime - must use his genius to manipulate those around him.
Quote: Marc P @ June 8 2011, 11:33 AM BSTI meant do it here evan and then we might be better able to help.
Doh! Didn't understand you meant that! Thanks for the offer of help, but I'm reluctant to go into the synopsis online in a public forum. Hope you understand.
I'm actually working on the treatment right now--the bafta competition requires a heck of a lot of material in addition to the extract of ten pages.
jacporov: Nice lines there! I think I've got something I'm happy with for the moment so I'm going to move on with the other elements I need to finish for the competition--treatment, character info etc.
Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 8 2011, 5:28 PM BSTDoh! Didn't understand you meant that! Thanks for the offer of help, but I'm reluctant to go into the synopsis online in a public forum. Hope you understand.
Not at all. In fact completely baffled. You will post excerpts you will post your logline but don't want to say what it is about? But good luck with it. 
Quote: Marc P @ June 9 2011, 9:02 AM BSTNot at all. In fact completely baffled. You will post excerpts you will post your logline but don't want to say what it is about? But good luck with it.
Wires crossed again, I said I didn't want to post the synopsis which was in reference to another member's post. I don't want to go into too many details of the plot and characters. But I see now your original message was just asking for a clear description of the show, rather than going into the nitty-gritty. If you're still up for it after all the confusion I've been sowing:-
A female psychology student does a work placement with Dr. Lime, a psychologist with a unique way of treating patients. His methods are nothing short of fiendish and his references to a past life as a criminal mastermind lead the student to doubt his sanity. But his treatments do work, so is he a genius? Or just a psycho?
By the way, those rolly-eye icons really hurt. They cut deeper than a knife.
Yes they are cruel eyes they see all. 
But they are still not seeing what the engine of your show is? What is it to be about episode by episode. What is at the heart of it?
Quote: Marc P @ June 9 2011, 12:51 PM BSTYes they are cruel eyes they see all.
But they are still not seeing what the engine of your show is? What is it to be about episode by episode. What is at the heart of it?
Each episode Lime is confronted by a patient with a problem and Lime, accompanied by his often unwilling accomplice, the student, sets about tackling the problems in increasingly bizarre ways--drugging a smoker, for example, and chasing him around London with automatic weapons.
Quote: evan rubivellian @ June 9 2011, 7:48 PM BSTEach episode Lime is confronted by a patient with a problem and Lime, accompanied by his often unwilling accomplice, the student, sets about tackling the problems in increasingly bizarre ways--drugging a smoker, for example, and chasing him around London with automatic weapons.
Okay. Now think about a radio times entry. And also think about what the show is about rather than what happens. It is tough I know.
Sorry but could you explain the "radio times entry" bit?--I'm not sure what you mean by that.
As to what the show is about, that is difficult.
On one level it's about the battle between conformity (the "proper" way of doing psychology, represented by the student) and rebellion (the individualistic drive of Lime who does things his way).
I guess the series comes down on the side of rebellion because Lime's methods work, but the price he pays is the risk of being thrown into a mental asylum.
And on another level it's about the relationship that develops between Lime and his student, with the Dr becoming a father figure to the young woman.
Well I meant an entry in the Radio Times that would make me think I'd like to watch that.
And I know it's hard to say what the show is about but in sitcom it shouldn't be. And if you are struggling to pitch the engine that drives the show you probably need to rethink it. Remember they are looking for shows with legs. Not necessarily a dance troupe.