And bran looks like wicker as well
You Cannot Be Cereal Page 2
What about Minced Alan Whicker with berries? Not as a joke. As a cereal.
Quote: Die Hard @ June 6 2011, 8:06 PM BSTSCENE 1 - INTERIOR GENERIC KITCHEN
WHITE WORKSURFACE WITH 3 CEREAL BOXES.
OVER-ENTHUSIASTIC V/O
New Minced-Wicker with berries, or Minced-Wicker with chocolate chips, or even new Frosted-Minced-Wicker!
Three new tastier recipes just for you ...because original Minced-Wicker, tastes like wicker, only minced!
CLOSE UP ON UNAPPETISING BRAN-LIKE HALF-EATEN CEREAL IN BOWL
I like this one best, but I'd have called it 'shredded wicker' and said something like, 'no conservatory furniture has been harmed in the making of this ad' then show someone putting said furniture through a shredding machine.
Quote: Die Hard @ June 6 2011, 8:06 PM BSTSCENE 1 - INTERIOR GENERIC KITCHEN
WHITE WORKSURFACE WITH 3 CEREAL BOXES.
OVER-ENTHUSIASTIC V/O
Just for you, new Crunchy-Shit with berries, or why not try new Crunchy-Shit with chocolate chips, or even new Frosted-Crunchy-Shit?!
Three new tastier recipes just for you, because Crunchy-Shit on it's own tastes like shit, only crunchy!
CLOSE UP ON UNAPPETISING BRAN-LIKE HALF-EATEN CEREAL IN BOWL
This is a shit joke.
Quote: Simon B @ June 6 2011, 8:53 PM BSTThe first one, for me: Crunchy Shit. It's funny. Feels more satirical (maybe because of crunchy nut). Where as Minced Wicker seems too try hard, almost 'whacky'. A lot would rest on the execution and a decent V.O. delivery. Which do you prefer?
Simon B, thanks for your kind comments. I have literally no idea which I prefer. I like Crunchy-shit, but I did minced-wicker because it was those damned Shredded Wheat ads that got me all riled up in the first place.
Many thanks to all for the comments ...and the help in explaining wicker. I'm 37 and wicker was a fairly standard chair component when I was young, I didn't realise things had moved on. Damn Ikea and their easy to assemble comfy Grobblellogs!
Thanks Badge and Shandonbelle for your advice I think I might have another go at the wicker one using your suggestions (don't worry though I won't repost it!)
SootyJ - I'll have a go at making future attempts clearer. It was supposed to be a parody of all the cereal adverts where they advertise them based on what nice-tasting things they have added to them, suggesting (correctly) that the original tasted like shit.
Thanks again to all who commented, much appreciated.
...Except you Marc, you big meany! 
*sob* *eats lots of cake and looks for solace in trawling Offer of the Day website*
Quote: Die Hard @ June 7 2011, 10:38 PM BST...Except you Marc, you big meany!
Well it wasn't a criticism. 