Drug Test Part 1

Edit:
I've wiped it.
It was terribly long and improperly formatted.
Cheers to those who bothered to read it.
I'll do better next time.

Skib

I loved it!

Great characters and excellent style and pacing. Drew me in and kept me nailed right to the end.

Clever stuff.

Only read the first two scenes but you are obviously a good writer. It flowed naturally and unlike a lot of stuff the humour just oozed out, wasn't forced.

Nice one. Gonna try and read the rest some time soon.

Hey Skibbington. I've been practising with this style of writing.

Check out my Sitting Down Sitcom somewhere in the critique section a few pages back.

Here it is - https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/1883 (Any excuse for more feedback )

I haven't read yours yet, but I'll edit this as soon as I do.

I adored it. It does flow fabulously. I agree with Stuart you are obviously a very good writer. Good luck mate, not that you need it.
x

Thank you Jude, Charley, Leevil, and Stuart for the upbeat & kind comments.

Finished reading and was very impressed. The characters, the humour seemed so fluid. It never seemed that the writer was desperately trying to shoehorn jokes into a script. Similarly, the characters were consistent, which is such a tough thing to maintain because again people often seem desperate to get a snappy reply or joke in but forget that in the real world people don't just 'switch' into joke mode.

Bruno and Cruise had a great rhythm, as did the HR Manager. They were individual and fresh.

Great stuff. I urge more people to read it.

I was a bit intimidated by your length and only read it when there's not much else going on.

I agree the dialogue is good etc etc etc.

However I do think that it was a bit ttoooo long. Also I don't think the subject matter - ie. drug test - can justify a whole episode on its own and maybe there should be another plotline going on too - maybe a secretary perhaps?