Alright... not perfect yet by any means, but I have tried to delineate the characters a little more clearly in their speech rhythms. I have only started writing the Jac and Melanie characters quite recently, so bear with me. I have deleated some repetition and exposition. I have also popped in some brief character descriptions - not to determine the characters, but just to let you know who's who without the benfit of episode one or more scenes.
Suburban Bohemia
by Todd Barty
Episode two, scene one.
Cast
Xander Zanii
A flambouyant artistic director of a metropolitan Arts/Media company who has never fully grown out of his New Romantic eighties childhood. He is snooty, arch and irresponsible, likes to think that he 'cares' but, in spite of his talent, he is very poor at relating to people.
Lily Von Lieberslieder
Xander's one time wife and lifelong best friend. She is an ageing 'goth' who works as an associate director for Xander. She has had a career as a dancer and singer, and parties even harder than Xander.
Lucy Llewellen
Lucy is Xander's niece and the project administrator for his company. She is sensible and efficient and has to parent her unruly co-workers.
Jac
Jac is an androgynous French designer and technician who is the technical dogsbody for the company. He is frequently party to the misrule of his friends Lily and Xander, but is more restrained and sees, to an extent, the ridiculousness of their behaviour.
Melanie
Melanie is a vacuous heiress who aspires to be a 'serious' actress. She is Xander's regular lover and he justifies keeping her around by employing her as a secretary while he 'finds the right part' for her.
The show takes place in the regional city of Townsville (Australia) where the crew have set up in order to grab regional arts funding money.
The scene takes place in the kitchen/sitting room of the house that they occupy.
Xander and Jac are boiling eggs on the stove.
Xander: Ow. Ow. I've dropped the spoon.
Jac: J'arrive.
Xander: Bloody owwww! Quick - they'll be too hard.
Jac hands Xander another spoon.
Jac: A spoon.
Xander spots the audience/camera.
Xander: Hello there people.. Welcome to another week of cultural exploration, I'm Xander Zanii.
To begin, this week, Jac and I are showing you how to make an environmentally sound
breakfast by using the water that we've boiled the eggs in to make coffee...
Xander takes the eggs out and picks up the pot. There is no coffee in the nearby plunger.
Where's the coffee, Jac?
Jac: Je suis desolee.
Jac quickly puts grounds in the plunger.
Xander: Oww... this is heavy, you're supposed to be prepared for the cameras!
Jac: Oui.
Xander: Speak English, we don't have subtitles... Actually can we have subtitles? (Pause) Well
we're not paying for them so speak English.
Jac: Speak English.
Xander: Alright, you put that water in your plunger to make your coffee... and thereby save on that
precious natural resource. And it doesn't taste like egg at all, I assure you...
Jac: It taste like the eggs yesterday.
Xander: That was an accident. Shut up!
Lucy: Off. Good morning, all...
Xander: Shit!
Lucy enters with groceries.
Xander: Lucy!
Lucy: Not dressed yet?
Xander: I'm having breakfast.
Lucy: I see.
Xander: What?
Lucy: Well, its just that I've already been out and got groceries before work and you haven't had
breakfast or got dressed.
Xander: I'm making a documentary.
Lucy: What you're making is an excuse.
Xander: You really don't get it, do you?
Jac: I help you put these away, cherie.
(Jac starts putting the groceries away.)
Xander: Stop kissing arse.
Lucy: Have you got the strategic plan for me.
Xander: What.
Lucy: You were supposed to write something for our strategic plan. I've been asking for a
fortnight.
Xander: I've been very busy.
Lucy: No busier than anybody else here... though that's not saying much.
Xander: You have no idea what my job entails.
Lucy: Your days are hardly full.
Xander: Creative endeavor is very draining.
Lucy: Not draining enough to keep you from going out until all hours of the morning
afterwards.
Xander: I am under a lot of pressure - you don't know what you're talking about!
Xander flings himself onto the sofa.
Jac: Here we go.
Xander: I don't have anyone to talk to when I'm streesed - people just think I'm...
Jac: A bastard who is unsympathetic...
Xander: Thank you, Jac!
Lucy: Well, I've got to go.
Xander: A bastard who is unsympathetic, they see me as, Lucy...
Lucy: I've got a meeting.
Xander: What meeting?
Lucy: Local sponsors.
Xander: I should be at that.
Lucy: No, Xander, we're actually trying to keep them on board.
Xander: I am the Artisitc Director of this company.
Lucy: Yes, well... you just stick with that and leave this to me.
Xander: I created this company, from the ground up...
Jac: Did not your family give you money?
Xander: Shut up! I created this company from nothing with my bare hands and my talent....
and now you treat me like I'm its greatest embarrassment....
Lily stumbles from her bedroom.
Lily: good morning.
Xander, Lucy, Jac: Well, almost.
Lily: What?
Xander: Nothing, Lily dearest, My sanctimonious niece was just visciously biting at the hand
that feeds her again.
Lily: Whatever she said, tell her to piss off.
Lucy: I'm off.
Lily: Where's my coffee.
Xander: Lucy, did you get Irish Cream?
Lucy: No.
Xander: I told you to get Irish Cream.
Lucy: Xander, you and your friends do not need to have Irish Cream in your coffee at breakfast
time. That is ridiculous!
Lily: Who made you moral compass?
Lucy: See you later, get the strategic plan done!
Lucy exits
Xander: Get Irish Cream!
Jac: She's not going to get it.
Xander: We'll go to the bottle shop.
Lily: It's too early. (She sits at the table and puts her head down.)
Xander: Melanie!
A toilet flushes and Melanie comes from the bathroom in her negligee. She has cocaine on her nose.)
Melanie: Hiya!
Xander: Morning gorgeous... we've got to go out.
Melanie: Oh, that's poo... are we out of Irish Cream?
Xander: Yes.
Melanie: Lily... when there's not much left we have to save it for breakfast!
Lily: Don't shout at me!.
Melanie: I'll get ready.
Jac: Eggs for anybody?
Lily: Alright.
Xander: Melanie, dear...
Melanie: Yeah?
Xander: Just let me.... He brushes some cocaine off her nose and pusts it on his teeth.
Melanie: Oh, sweet... She giggles and kisses him on the cheek and runs out.
Xander: That's good... (He sits down for breakfast with Lily and Jac.).