British Comedy Guide

Your worst date ever! Page 3

My brother just told me he had a phone call, last night, from some woman he went on just one date with 6 weeks previously. She told him that she though he should know that she was pregnant and what was he going to do about it. He told her "We never even slept together" She then said "Oooops sorry, cant have been you then" and hung up.

I am still laughing now. That was hillarious.

I had a "friend" who went on a date with this right horrible bird, i told him to get shot, but aparently it was an endangered species. anyway bad jokes aside i went on a date with this lady who was 61 years old, she didn't look 61 at all she looked much younger i only figured it out when i saw her teeth in a glass next to the bed, still she gave a good gum job.

Laughing out loud
I bet she bloodie did Lewis.

Ow she did Charley and she did some unmentioanble things with her walking stick, one of them involved me walking,,, very uncomfortably.

Quote: Lewis Roberts @ June 14, 2007, 7:41 PM

anyway bad jokes aside...

So you're not going to post anymore?

I just had a date tonight...Yeah ended well thats why I'm paying £30 for company tonight

Quote: Gavin @ June 14, 2007, 10:56 PM

I just had a date tonight...Yeah ended well thats why I'm paying £30 for company tonight

Is that how much Charley charges nowadays? Gone up a bit!

£30 is no talking rate

Actually it is. :P Laughing out loud

Whistling nnocently

Quote: charley rance @ June 13, 2007, 12:33 PM

Come on share. I am bored and need a giggle.

Mine was with a guy who consistently ground his teeth, snorted when he laughed and slammed his fist down on the table constantly for no other reason than to annoy me. I had met him a few nights before when I was pissed and arranged a date.

He was an attractive guy but totaly weird. I did end up going back to his place for some unknown reason, maybe desperation I was also very drunk. Nout happend though. I changed my mind & could not be botherd to explain why so I used his bathroom, locked the door, slid out of the window and down the drain pipe. Twisted my ankle, ladderd my stockings and hopped 2 miles home. I then realised I had no key to get in, so rather than knock up my parents and let them see me in that state I punched the kitchen window through and climbed in.
I ended up soaking the kitchen in blood, being screamed at by my naked dad(So not nice)a buggerd hand a f**ked leg and paying £60 out of my wages for a new window.

All for a guy I didnt even like.

you see him again?

Sounds a catch. I got a cab back to this girls house and she said she had my CDs so we went to get them and she tore my clothes off. Literally. Then left me to get the cab home.

Same girl calls me up one Halloween - this is absolutely true - and she's at a party. Says it's tocking and my friend Henry comes on teh phone and confirms this. I go down. There's only her and a very scared Henry. The sounds of a party wqas from a BBC Sound FX Album. She is dressed as a witch, with a big false nose. Her friend who has conversations with sandwiches is there. Henry makes for the door and I follow him. AS I get out into the street I look up at her flat. They are both sillouetted against the flaming light effect and staring down at me.

Quote: Ed Parnell @ June 15, 2007, 5:29 AM

you see him again?

Sounds a catch. I got a cab back to this girls house and she said she had my CDs so we went to get them and she tore my clothes off. Literally. Then left me to get the cab home.

Same girl calls me up one Halloween - this is absolutely true - and she's at a party. Says it's tocking and my friend Henry comes on teh phone and confirms this. I go down. There's only her and a very scared Henry. The sounds of a party wqas from a BBC Sound FX Album. She is dressed as a witch, with a big false nose. Her friend who has conversations with sandwiches is there. Henry makes for the door and I follow him. AS I get out into the street I look up at her flat. They are both sillouetted against the flaming light effect and staring down at me.

Chicken!!!

Haha.
Ed you missed out there. Go back and take a sarnie and a broom with you.

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