Stand up ideas - expanded

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

after your comments in an earlier thread I've decided to expand the weight issue for part of my stand up routine. Do you think the below would work. I've signed myself up for an open mic night in a months time so I've got plenty of time to expand/work this.

So I've recently been trying to lose weight and I'll tell you I lost 9 pounds in my first week!... that was just the joining fee.

So if you haven't been my advice is.. Don't. The whole process is humiliating, you turn up and pay your fat tax or as they prefer.. your subs. Then you get herded around to the scales with all the other cattle to be told just how fat you are this week. Then if you haven't been humiliated enough you can stay for the support group where you all sit in a circle and tell each other why your so fat!!

I've tried so many diets now without much success..

I tried lighter life but... I kept burning myself on the flames.

I tried yo-yo dieting... but that was just up and down.

I tried watching what I ate but.. ended up starving.

I even tried the caveman diet... but, I'm pretty sure their diet consisted of more than fox?

I've tried exercising, and I've got rid of 5 ghosts already but, I'm still not any slimmer.

I'm gonna work on this a bit more but, any critism would be gratefully received I also have some one liners that I've been working on and will put on here soon as well as a routine about foxes.

Just another train of thought with the weight issue.

See the problem with being slightly overweight is that people say you're not fat but then you're also not fit either. You know you've got a problem though when you enter a room and your stomach has been in the room 5 minutes before the rest of you has made an appearance. It's ruined many a suprise birthday for me.

I've found that when you can no longer see the end of your penis it's time to start dieting... and you've gotta be pretty fat to not be able to see the end of a 9 inch penis... That's erect. But, then I have been known to massively exaggerate things... It wasn't erect at the time. Obviously this would be quite difficult if you were a woman.

Let us know whether you think this would work within the routine already posted or whether its back to the drawing board.

Thanks,

Jason.

A lot of these are very old, cliched observations about obesity & have been done before and much better in my opinion. Peter Kay has done a couple of pieces about Slimming World, for example. I would find a different subject matter to be honest.

Fraid I agree with Bob, you got the ideas just a matter of focusing them elsewhere.

Thanks for the feedback, it's better to find out now that I'm better off focusing my efforts somewhere else rather than wasting my time on material that is tired and wouldn't go down well.

I'm quite new to this game so any feedback is gratefully received!!

Many thanks & more to follow,

Jason.