1st part of a cartoon I'm making

Hi Folks

Be great if anyone can take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPv2DaoPvO4 .

Any thoughts on the script, look, sound, voices, music and anything else would be super. I'm sure it can be improved. I need to add more sound effects and background detail for starters. Maybe add some different camera angles - although that'll take me a lot of time.

BTW, it's for kids.

Cheers
Yac

No problems with it so far. More please.

Loved the robot. Real potential there.

Liked it.

Visually.
I'm unsure having a drop shadow on everything works it makes it all seem like layers sitting on top of each other instead of characters involved in background. <--- Ignore this I was being a pleb and just realised that was meant to be the shadow on the bed.

The Robot Turning needs so more extreme visuals also I'd really ramp it up to the extreme with the angle and drop a gradient background in Manga style. Also be nice to add some Audio processing as he gets more evil to really kick that in the nuts.

Just a few little changes. Just my opinion feel free to disregard

Visually and vocally it is very strong, some nice characterisation, particularly the butler. The "I don't think you are an idiot - I know" line comes across as the sort of chestnut placeholder gag you put in a script until you can think of something more original

Quote: Gavin @ May 2 2011, 9:21 AM BST

Liked it.

The Robot Turning needs so more extreme visuals also I'd really ramp it up to the extreme with the angle and drop a gradient background in Manga style. Also be nice to add some Audio processing as he gets more evil to really kick that in the nuts.

View original

Will do. Not sure how to draw a Manga background (will have to learn).

Quote: Timbo @ May 2 2011, 12:15 PM BST

"I don't think you are an idiot - I know" line comes across as the sort of chestnut placeholder gag you put in a script until you can think of something more original

View original

Yeah, it is a bit of a hack line. Can't think of a better one at the moment. I do want it made clear in the opening scene that Chives (the butler) thinks Timmy is an idiot though.

Big thanks for people's comments and compliments so far. I'd be grateful for any more.