THE STAGE MANAGER ANDY IS TALKING TO THE MUSICAL DIRECTOR COLIN ON A TOUR OF CATS THE MUSICAL.
Colin:
I hear you've handed in your notice Andrew, May I ask Porquoi?
This Tour of Cats has been an absolute triumph, due in no small part to having the one & only Gerald Pipkin on Board.
Andy:
Well that's why I want to go, he's freaking me out a bit, he's weird.
Colin:
All the greats are though aren't they? O'Toole, Hopkins, Wogan. They are artistes & they all have a unique process.
Andy:
He's a great Actor and all that, and probably the best Old Deuteronomy since Blessed himself, but does he have to pretend that he is a real Cat all the time? He's never out of character.
Colin:
Well, being a great actor that he is, he realises that if he doesn't capture the pure essence of a Cat, then the final scene where he stands on a Tyre looking like a Womble and waves to an old tramp as she walks up a staircase to the sky would just seem very ordinary.
Andy:
At the end of the day It's just a stage show.
Colin:
You just don't have the theatre in your Blood old Chap! This is one of our greatest actors you're talking about, He has a methiod & he takes that method, turns it into magic and sprinkles it on the audience.
Andy:
That's not the only thing he's been sprinkling on the audience.
Colin:
The stage is his territory, and cat's mark their territory by...
Andy:
Yes I know what actual Cats do, what real Cats do by instinct, but he's a human being for crying out loud.
Colin:
You don't like him do you? Has this got something to do with him doing a whoopsie in your beret the other day?
Andy:
A lot of actors do that, I'm more worried about the times he jumps on my lap, he's about 25 stone for God sake.
Colin
Andrew, Andrew, would you feel better if we had him done!
Andy:
Had him done?
Colin:
Yes, you know take him to the vet, snip snip thump thump calm him down a little.
Andy:
We can't do that.... can we.
Colin:
I suppose that would be a bit drastic, I remember when we did it to Bonnie Langford. I don't think he's ever forgiven us.
Andy:
I just want to work somewhere where I don't keep treading in litter trays, where the stage door doesn't have a Catflap, and where people don't leave dead rotting birds outside my office.
Colin:
You know who left the Bird outside your office, it was that pretty young Twirly who plays Rumpleteazer. I think she likes you.
Andy:
Really?
Colin:
It's a sure sign.
Andy:
You're right How can I leave this show when it's such a triumph! Now let's go & get some more milk.
