You can tell us mate.

THREE PALS ARE IN A PUB HAVING A BEER

Barry:
I'm glad you came out tonight Dave there's been something we've been meaning to ask you.

Scott:
It's a bit personal, so tell us to mind our own if you want.

Barry:
And if you do answer yes to this then it won't affect our friendship or anything.

Scott:
Personally I don't think it matters... As long as you know whatever happens mate I'm fine with it whatever you do in your own time.

Dave:
What the hell are you guys talking about?

Scott:
He's wondering if you're a bit y'know.

Dave:
No I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Barry:
Well I don't know quite how to put this.. But Dave are you a Zombie?

Dave:
Not that it's any of your business, but I'm curious as to why you'd even think to ask that.

Barry:
Look no offence mate, but you do act a bit Zombish at times

Scott:
That's true

Dave:
What is it? Is it my clothes?

Scott:
Well you have been wearing that suit for 6 months.

Dave:
I like this suit

Barry:
But it's got big rips in it, and it's covered in dirt & blood.

Dave:
So just because my favourite suit happens to have a few rips & bloodstains you straight away leap to the conclusion that I'm a Zombie.

Scott:
We're only asking mate.

Barry:
Ok then why are your eyeballs bleeding?

Dave:
I dunno too many espressos earlier probably.

Scott:
See Barry, he's just had a few too many coffees.

Barry:
For F**ks sake Scott, his skin is green, his eyes are lifeless & bleeding and we went to his funeral last year.

Scott:
Oh yeah!

Dave:
Ok fellas maybe I am a little bit of a Zombie.

Barry:
Finally! See that wasn't so difficult was it!

Scott:
Anyway It's your round you Green Dead bastard.

Barry:
Yeah get me a Lageeeeerrrrrrrrgghhhh

Dave:
I knew you two would be like this that's why I didn't say anything.

Yep, love this one! Liked the way it built up to "and we went to his funeral last year". I'm a bit biased though, Shaun of the Dead is my favourite ever film!

I like it although I didn't laugh really. I can see it as one of those WKD ads or the Carlsberg lads.

Cheers!

It's meant to be a bit downplayed or normal I guess, so it's not really full of gags.

It had a good feel.

Funny, I also liked the funeral line. Good payoff at the end as well.

Thank you!

And cheers all for reading

I like this and you certainly seem to be in a purple patch with writing

I'd have a go at writing it so Dave doesn't have to say much at all or merely grunt?

I think zombies shouldn't speak.

I am a conservative.

Racist more like!

You're not Lady Laughter are you Steve? I'd prefer it if it had more gags, rather than being 'natural'.

In general Steve I think you starts are a little bit to slow

I know what you mean SootyJ
And I do look at how quickly it get's to the point.
But sometimes I just like to set the scene with a bit of normality, or get a bit of a flow going.
The problem I find with cutting too much is often things start to lose sense or the gags start to seem much more shoehorned in.

Having said that, Once I post it I've probably already cut it down quite a bit.

Oh keeo the intro but wrong foot the audience or intrigue you know what I mean.