This ACTUALLY happened to me. It ACTUALLY happened to me TODAY. Man alive.
INT. HOSPITAL WARD. DAY
(MAN AND WOMAN WAIT OUTSIDE THE OPERATING THEATRE. THE DOOR OPENS AND A SOLEMN LOOKING DOCTOR WALKS OVER TO THE MAN AND WOMAN)
DOCTOR
I'm really sorry to have to break this to you but I'm afraid that young Tommy's dead. There was nothing we could do.
(THE MAN AND WOMAN START TO SOB UNCONTROLLABLY.)
DOCTOR
However, the good news is that he has come back to life
MAN
What?
WOMAN
He's alive?
DOCTOR
The bad news is that he's come back to life a flesh eating zombie.
WOMAN
A flesh eating zombie?
DOCTOR
The good news is that he's a happy-go-lucky flesh eating zombie.
WOMAN
What?
DOCTOR
The bad news is that we shot him in the head anyway.
(THE MAN AND WOMAN START TO SOB UNCONTROLLABLY AGAIN. THE DOCTOR STARTS TO SMIRK. HE THEN STARTS TO GIGGLE.)
DOCTOR
HA. April Fool.
MAN
April fool?
DOCTOR
I totally got you.
(THE MAN AND WOMAN REALISE THAT IT IS A JOKE AND START TO SMILE)
WOMAN
You totally did. You totally got us.
DOCTOR
You should have seen your faces.
MAN
God. Wow. That was like... that was a total roast.
DOCTOR
You were like totally suckered in. Man eating zombies?
MAN
Oh man... man eating zombies. I feel so stupid.
(THEY ALL LAUGH. THE DOCTOR DOES A LAME ZOMBIE IMPRESSION. THE ALL JOIN IN.)
DOCTOR
All joking aside, though, your son is dead.
(THERE IS AN AWKWARD LULL.)
:END
Sometimes I wonder if I'm best suited to be a doctor.