Wine Sketch

SC 1. TV STUDIO –DAY

ON SET OF A TV FOOD CHANNEL.

PRESENTER:
Now it’s time for our wine expert, Bill Warwick, to talk us through what’s in the shops and what you might like to have with your weekend cooking. And we’re also delighted to welcome today’s celebrity guest, Eastenders “tough nut” Grant Mitchell.

GRANT:
Thanks very much Steve.

PRESENTER:
So Grant do you enjoy a glass of wine with a meal?

GRANT:
Yes indeed Steve. I love a glass or two of chab-liss with me pie and mash.

BILL:
A glass of what?

GRANT:
Chab-liss pel. I can’t get enough of it. I’m surprised you ain’t heard of it Bill, you being a wine expert an'all. It’s well famous and popular and that.

BILL
Oh! Ha ha ha! How divine! You mean Chablis. I’m so sorry I didn’t realise you were in character and playing that awful thicko that you do on the telly.

GRANT:
Wot?

PRESENTER:
He he - Gotta get on chaps. They’re giving me the hurry up from the gallery. So Bill, what have you selected for our first wine?

BILL
The first’s a Pinot Grigio from wine maker Alfredo Latzi. This is chock-full of robust character and yet it’s also gentle and forgiving. What do you think?

THEY ALL TAKE A SIP. GRANT NECKS THE FULL GLASS. GRANT BELCHES.

GRANT:
Sweet. T’riffic.

BILL:
Oh no no no no no! It’s not sweet. It’s quite dry really. My goodness Grant, we have some serious work ahead of us if we’re to make a wine-buff out of you.

GRANT:
No you nonce! I know it’s dry. I meant sweet as in laaverly. You tit!

PRESENTER:
Calm down now guys calm down. I can see I’m gonna have to keep an eye on you two. OK Bill, what’s up next?

BILL:
Well next we really do have a Chablis, or chab-liss - as Grant would say. Now this is…

GRANT:
Are you taking the facking gypsy’s mate? You facking little shit.

GRANT PICKS UP ONE OF THE BOTTLES AND SMASHES IT ON THE COUNTER THEN HITS BILL IN THE FACE WITH IT. PANDEMONIUM BREAKS OUT ON THE SET.

GRAMS___________________________EASTENDERS DRUM ROLL

END

I'm afraid I didn't laugh. TV channels have been done to death and it's hard to make characters funny on them.

One sketch that I'd say have a look at, I think it's available on youtube, is one of the Aussie guy on The Fast Show interviewing Paul Whitehouse's character who has to curb his swearing. I think that's a terrific little sketch.

Nice character contrast but done before. Still funny though.

David:

Thanks for having a look at this.

I think it reads differently to how I thought the gag out.

It's not about lampooning niche TV channels - the intention is for a Deadringers style piece at the expense of hard-man Grant, with the pay-off of the out of context Eastenders big drums at the end. You know?

Dum - dum - dum dum dum dum - Dum dum.

I've been watching some old Spike Milligan stuff and its style seems to be influencing me at the moment.

Michael:

I wasn't sure about it but I did have a sneaking feeling that I mave have seen the tag somewhere before but could not tie it down to anything specific so went with it anyhow.

Hi Blenks

This one feels a bit laboured. I can see it in Dead Ringers but it needs a couple more jokes stuck in there as it feels too long between the laughs. I think you've missed a good opportunity around the 'dry' line as I'm sure there's a joke in there if you look close enough.

Like the drums at the end (which I assume is the main point), just missing a couple of laughs on our journey there.

Hope this helps

Dan

I think the "...I didn’t realise you were in character and playing that awful thicko..." line seemed an odd thing for the presenter to assume/say.

I think it might be a humorous sketch but it needs a few different jokes/quirks to differentiate him from the Pub Landlord's character.