You've got a time machine and some johnnies... Page 6

Quote: zooo @ April 9 2011, 10:02 PM BST

He's funny and nice and lovely and stuff.

A bit weirdly muscular now, but he wasn't back then.

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Believe it or not that pic's not Photoshopped. (Well not much anyway. He really is that buff.) But that's not why I dislike him - he just sort of grates on me and always has. I think it started a long, long time ago when he was interviewing Frank Skinner and going "You're a comedian though, say something funny, go on, you haven't said anything funny, say something funny Frank, say something funny". Luckily Frank said "Andi, there's nothing I could say that'd be funnier than that shirt you're wearing".

He's just annoyed me ever since. I'm sure he's a very nice person in real life.

*said through gritted teeth*

Aw, well yes, that does sound annoying.

But whenever I see him he seems really sweet. Plus I grew up watching him, PLUS he gave the world Edd the duck.

What more needs to be said?

Quote: zooo @ April 10 2011, 12:40 AM BST

Aw, well yes, that does sound annoying.

But whenever I see him he seems really sweet. Plus I grew up watching him, PLUS he gave the world Edd the duck.

What more needs to be said?

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You're right of course. But I suppose everyone has a celeb or two that just rubs them up the wrong way, however irrationally. Just to prove to myself that he must be a twat, I just watched a 5 minute interview with him and - goddammit - he seemed frustratingly-pleasant. Damn. Maybe I'll have to be slipping that condom on someone else's Dad's knob. Maybe my own!

Now there's a space-time conundrum. If I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I surreptitiously slipped a condom on him, would I then cease to exist? And if I don't exist, then I can't go back in time to prevent my own birth! Because if I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I slipped a condom on him, would I cease to exist? If I don't exist, I can't go back in time to prevent my birth! Because if I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I slipped a condom on him, would I cease to exist? If I don't exist, I can't go back in time to prevent my birth!

Oh God I'm caught in some sort of awful temporal loop, endlessly-repeating the same gags ad infinitum.

Ooo! I just saw Jim Davidson!

Yes, I have probs' with time continuams, sort of where are I from? and if I exist is this forum enough proof?, of course Dr Who fans can re-calulate.
If I have another earthquake dream, not my resposibility!.... I get sick of it.

Quote: Lee Henman @ April 10 2011, 2:55 AM BST

You're right of course. But I suppose everyone has a celeb or two that just rubs them up the wrong way, however irrationally. Just to prove to myself that he must be a twat, I just watched a 5 minute interview with him and - goddammit - he seemed frustratingly-pleasant. Damn. Maybe I'll have to be slipping that condom on someone else's Dad's knob. Maybe my own!

Now there's a space-time conundrum. If I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I surreptitiously slipped a condom on him, would I then cease to exist? And if I don't exist, then I can't go back in time to prevent my own birth! Because if I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I slipped a condom on him, would I cease to exist? If I don't exist, I can't go back in time to prevent my birth! Because if I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I slipped a condom on him, would I cease to exist? If I don't exist, I can't go back in time to prevent my birth!

Oh God I'm caught in some sort of awful temporal loop, endlessly-repeating the same gags ad infinitum.

Ooo! I just saw Jim Davidson!

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You'd destroy the universe just to touch your dad's knobber and commit suicide?

I could reccomend a good psycoannalyst

This appears to be just a costume drama version of the 'Who do you fancy' thread, despite the classic Sooty title.

If I had a time machine I'd probably go back to the end of March to see what the original title was before Sooty self-censored it.

Then I'd go back in time and f**k Nat's mum using a sand-based lubricant.

Obviously I don't mean Nat Wicks' mum, I'm talking about a completely different cock-loving felch-donut eater.

Quote: Lee Henman @ April 10 2011, 2:55 AM BST

You're right of course. But I suppose everyone has a celeb or two that just rubs them up the wrong way, however irrationally. Just to prove to myself that he must be a twat, I just watched a 5 minute interview with him and - goddammit - he seemed frustratingly-pleasant. Damn. Maybe I'll have to be slipping that condom on someone else's Dad's knob. Maybe my own!

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Quote: Godot Taxis @ April 10 2011, 11:43 AM BST

This appears to be just a costume drama version of the 'Who do you fancy' thread, despite the classic Sooty title.

If I had a time machine I'd probably go back to the end of March to see what the original title was before Sooty self-censored it.

Then I'd go back in time and f**k Nat's mum using a sand-based lubricant.

Obviously I don't mean Nat Wicks' mum, I'm talking about a completely different cock-loving felch-donut eater.

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you.ve got a time machine some rohynol and some johnnies

The BCG is a politically correct desert these days

Quote: sootyj @ April 10 2011, 1:13 PM BST

The BCG is a politically correct desert these days

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I hear you, kikey!

Quote: sootyj @ April 10 2011, 1:13 PM BST

you.ve got a time machine some rohynol and some johnnies

The BCG is a politically correct desert these days

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As Frank Booth would say: "F**k that shit!"

Quote: Godot Taxis @ April 10 2011, 1:48 PM BST

As Frank Booth would say: "F**k that shit!"

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Bad title or too much political correctness?

Quote: sootyj @ April 10 2011, 1:13 PM BST

The BCG is a politically correct desert these days

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Quote: Lee Henman @ April 9 2011, 9:39 PM BST

I think I'd be tempted to travel back to 1969 and pop one of those johnnies on Andi Peters' Dad's cock and do us all a favour.

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F****ng lol.

Quote: Lee Henman @ April 10 2011, 2:55 AM BST

Now there's a space-time conundrum. If I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I surreptitiously slipped a condom on him, would I then cease to exist? And if I don't exist, then I can't go back in time to prevent my own birth! Because if I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I slipped a condom on him, would I cease to exist? If I don't exist, I can't go back in time to prevent my birth! Because if I could travel back in time to one second before the point where my Dad ejaculated into Mum's foof, and I slipped a condom on him, would I cease to exist? If I don't exist, I can't go back in time to prevent my birth!

Oh God I'm caught in some sort of awful temporal loop, endlessly-repeating the same gags ad infinitum.

Ooo! I just saw Jim Davidson!

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Science Fiction writers in general have TWO different 'solutions' to the time-machine paradox (which is what you described).

But the ultimate short story of time travel, in my opinion, is the one called (I'm pretty sure) "All you Zombies". Try find a copy and read it some time.

I'd go back to 1968, Elvis in his Comeback Special leathers. Phwoar!