The Gloves and the Fox are currently at loggerheads.
Laughingstock/Sitcommission fail
definetly like this one the best out the ones I read, and got a few laughs out of it. not too keen on the narration, but I do like the idea of it being a story that knows its a story (if that makes sense?)also it seems more like a sketch than a continuing series, maybe because I didnt understand who the characters were or what their office was for ? maybe I didnt read that bit right tho. all in all though I thought it was pretty good
Yes I thought it very good but more of a comedy/drama than a sitcom?
Did you know that another poster here also has 'Logan & Nash' as characters in their Sitcomission entry?
Cheers for the comments guys. Maybe I should make their profession a bit clearer from the off and it is possibly more of a comedy drama. I do think it's more than a one-off sketch. I think a detective series has a lot of legs as you can throw up a strange new adventure each episode. Deferenz, I know about the other poster with the Logan and Nash characters. He's a good friend of mine. We film a lot of sketches together. He liked my idea of Logan and nash and wrote his own episode. Thanks for the feedback.
Quote: Otterfox @ March 17 2011, 10:06 AM GMTDeferenz, I know about the other poster with the Logan and Nash characters. He's a good friend of mine. We film a lot of sketches together. He liked my idea of Logan and nash and wrote his own episode. Thanks for the feedback.
I thought this might be the case. Good luck to both of you.
Def.
I really like the rhythm of the dialogue and the surreal gags. The universe seems a bit steampunk. It reminds me of some of the really great alternative comedy stuff from the eighties. Also, a bit "Boosh".
I'd certainly watch it - I don't mind the narration - particularly since the narrator talks to them. They need to hand over to the narrator with a really snappy lijhne each time.
I'd watch it. 
Please check out my failed entry "Suburban Bohemia - Episode 1" and leave a comment.
Quote: ToddB @ March 17 2011, 11:34 AM GMTI really like the rhythm of the dialogue and the surreal gags. The universe seems a bit steampunk. It reminds me of some of the really great alternative comedy stuff from the eighties. Also, a bit "Boosh".
I'd certainly watch it - I don't mind the narration - particularly since the narrator talks to them. They need to hand over to the narrator with a really snappy lijhne each time.
I'd watch it.
Please check out my failed entry "Suburban Bohemia - Episode 1" and leave a comment.
I am a fan of strange and surreal comedy; Python, Garth Marenghi, The Boosh, Flight of the Conchords so it has most likely infleunced my writing. Obviously not what they were looking for though.
Cheers for the comment. 
Yeah I really enjoyed reading this. Reminds of the 'Boosh' and The Suprising adventures of Sir Digby Chicken Caesar from That Mitchell and Webb look. It might strain the budget to make this though, but we should all chip in and get it made. Well done mate. 
Thanks for the kind comments Mooky. In my pre sitcommission innocence I wrote another two episodes of this. Not sure if I'm ready to give up on it just yet though.
I'm not sure what to make of this. On the one hand, I found it quite hard going with the very loose format and the narration, but that aside I have to say that I though some of the joke were brilliant. The technical shortcomings of a script can always be overcome by learned and improved, as it can with any craft. However, real raw comedy talent is something you either have or you don't. I'm pretty sure that there is some real raw talent here. Keep doing this and don't be tempted to change your style.