MILESBeing a George Michael fan is almost like wanting the new Ipad. They both look great, apparently they both sound great but you're probably going to have to wait longer to see the Ipad hit the shops. In light of his recent comments we managed to convince the Wham singer to come on the show to discuss his claims that his latest prison sentence was as a result of "Bad Karma". He should be here any moment.
GM(singing to himself) Wake me up, before you GO!
MILESAh, George Michael. Welcome to the show.
GMGood to be here Miles.
MilesWe'll try to be quick because we know it takes you longer to get around these days. To start can you tell us more about this (sceptical) "Karma"?
GMWell, the more I look at my life, the more I notice that it is dictated by a cosmic morality. (Mysterious) So when I crashed my car into that Snappy Snaps I knew it was the universe which, as quick as a flash, elected to send me to prison. (like an old fashioned magician) WOOZAAA!
MILESYou're saying the spirit realm managed to manipulate a judge, forcing them to apply the law correctly? Amazing.
GMYou doubt me Miles. Well, have a think about this. I own a house and every three months the universe deems it just to send me a bill punishing me for all the water, electricity and gas I have used in that time. SHAZAM!
MILESMagic, and nothing to do with simple economics then of course.
GMDoubtful still? Well prepare to be amazed. Yesterday evening I vainly quenched my thirst with the juice of five oranges. Later in the evening the universe elected to send me the urge to urinate and I missed a crucial part of midsummer murders. WHAZOOO!
MILESOk, come on. No "whazooo". That's the result of a simple bodily function.
GMOn the way here I passed a man selling the big issue which I did not buy. As quick as a flash the universe elected to leave me ignorant of this week's celebrity news and film reviews. ABRA-
MILESYou hadn't read the magazine.
GMIf I ever forget my keys the threshold of my car becomes *MAGICALLY IMPASSABLE*.
MILESSimple cause and effect.
GMWhenever I smoke a joint I become mysteriously light headed and have to sit down?
MILESNo.
GMAh. Ah ha. See if you can doubt that this is divine providence Miles. (Beat) When I released careless whisper, my house fell down
MILESWell I can't argue with that. George Michael, thank you very much.
END