ALDO Gets A Taxi

Working on an idea based on a habit of mine when i'm trying to be a smart allic. Oh, and no, i am not trying to copy Borat.

INT. TAXI OFFICE [DAY]

WOMAN BEHIND DESK BUSYING HERSELF. A TALL MAN WITH A SUITCASE (‘ALDO’) WALKS IN WITH A HUGE SMILE ON HIS FACE. HE WALKS TO THE DESK AND PUTS HIS SUITCASE DOWN ON THE DESK.

WOMAN:
(SMILING) Hello, how can I help you?

ALDO:
(OBVIOUSLY FOREIGN ACCENT) Yes.

WOMAN:
Excuse me?

ALDO:
You can help me. I want a taxi please.

WOMAN:
(GETTING OUT BOOK AND WRITING IN IT) Where to please?

ALDO:
Hmmmve.

WOMAN:
(CONFUSED) Sorry?

ALDO:
Hmmmve.

WOMAN:
Could you spell it?

ALDO:
Of course, H … M … V. Hmmmve.

WOMAN:
No, it’s just HMV.

ALDO:
Yes. Hmmmve. I want to by a kid.

WOMAN:
(SHOCKED) You can’t buy kids at HMV.

ALDO:
Yes you can. I bought them in my home country.

WOMAN:
We don’t do that in Britain.

ALDO:
Yes you do. I bought David yesterday at the airport.

WOMAN IS SHOCKED.

ALDO:
(OPENING SUITCASE) I’ll show him to you.

WOMAN:
No, don’t …

ALDO PULLS OUT A DVD CASE.

ALDO:
(POINTING) There look. It’s David. I spell it. D – V – D. I am sure Hmmmve sell Davids and kids there.

WOMAN:
(THINKING) Spell kid for me.

ALDO:
C … D.

WOMAN:
Oh right. (LAUGHS) You confused me. But it is just CD and DVD.

ALDO:
I can’t wait to buy some kids and Davids so a can get home and watch them on my David Player and listen to mus-ic on my stere-o. I can then play Pac Game.

WOMAN:
Do you like Pac Man?

ALDO:
Not Pac Man, Pac Game. Pac Man is old. (NOTICING CONFUSION) Oh sorry, you need me spell. P – C Game.

WOMAN:
It is just PC.

ALDO:
(CONFUSED) No, that stand for Plastic Co...

WOMAN:
(INTERRUPTING BY RIPPING PAPER AND GIVING IT TO ALDO) Your Taxi won’t be long. Go and wait on those chairs.

ALDO:
Thank you (LOOKING AT WOMAN’S NAME TAG) J – E – N.

WOMAN:
(WHILE ALDO WALKS AWAY) It’s Jen.

ALDO SITS ON CHAIRS AND NOTICES A MAN SCRATING HIS CROTCH.

ALDO:
Did you get that from the nurse?

MAN LOOKS AT ALDO ANGRILY AS ALDO SMILES BACK.

good but like you said you have to let the borat dust settle

BB code in lowercase.

Fixed.

No reason why Sacha Baron Cohen can be the only one to have an Eastern European come into Britain. Aldo however is different because he knows British culture. He just gets confused with the initial system of letters.

ah

put that way

then it different

Enough about the character, is the sketch any good? or any bad? Which ever way you put it.

I thought the sketch overall was pretty good, held my interest, not too long and neatly put together. I didn't quite get the last couple of lines but that's not unusual for me!! Couldn't really find fault with all the foregoing stuff. Well done!

I quite liked it - but then it fell flat a bit because the punchline wasn't really one.

How about her name being Mrs Hoare or something?

ALDO :I buy you?

I didn't think too hard but maybe something along those lines? There must be a good girl's name that could be misread.

That is too Borat-y. This character pronounces initials as words, hence kid instead of CD. But yes, i struggled for a punchline, all i had was he spells out a name as initials and then "did you get that from the nurse?" which would actually mean "did you get that from the NHS?" I was struggling to think of anything better.

Yes, it's a pretty tight sketch but it shadows Borat too closely to be judged in its own right as a general stand alone sketch, which is a shame. However, if you were to drop Aldo and use Borat and write a satirical piece, then I wouldn't think you'd have a problem letting others judge it in its own right. So, for instance, a while back I wrote a Big Brother sketch by taking Monty Pythons four Yorkshiremen and turning it into 'Four Big Brothers'. I aped the style and got paid into the bargain.

So, and for what it's worth, may I suggest that you write a topical Borat style sketch, bang it off to News Revue and see what happens. If for nothing else, it'll be good experience.

I think i'll do that. Thanks for the advice.

I think I've heard the HMV thing before havent I? I mean, don't change it yet or anything 'cause I can't remember where and so I may not have heard it actually, but it's ringing bells. If it is original then yeah it's a nice idea and a good sketch. I would go with what Baumski says though too.

I don't think i've heard it done anywhere. Apart from a friend who i constructed the idea from. If it has been used before, i didn't realise.

Yeah wouldn't worry Walker unless someone else remembers, there's a chance of me being wrong.