NJ: Ecuadorian Dwarves

Another far-too-obscure and/or far-too-shit reject

Dan

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ECUADORIAN DWARVES
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MILES:
A tribe of Ecuadorian dwarves may hold the cure to cancer after a study showed that none of them have suffered from it in the last 30 years. I'm proud to be able to unveil something of an exclusive here at Newsjack as I welcome the Ecuadorian Dwarf Health Minister!

EDHM:
Hello, Miles.

MILES:
Indeed, hello. This is really quite remarkable. Is it true that you're immune to cancer?

EDHM:
It very much looks that way. I mean, we don't even have a word for that in our language!

MILES:
Extraordinary. What about other diseases? Malaria?

EDHM:
Yes, it turns out living out in the open, we're each immune to all types of malaria.

MILES:
This is amazing! What about AIDS?

EDHM:
AIDS as well. In fact, an AIDS sufferer came into camp and he was cured of his disease! Leprosy, TB, genital warts - all gone.

MILES:
Unbelievable! Your tribe really are a... a... (SNEEZES) A modern miracle (SNIFF).

EDHM:
What the hell was that?!

MILES:
Just a sneeze. I think I'm coming down with a bit of a cold.

EDHM:
A cold? Oh, I really don't feel well. I've got the shakes. Brr! (TEETH CHATTER) Oh... *so*... c-c-cold...

MILES:
Are you o-?

F/X: HEALTH MINISTER FALLS, STARTS HAVING A SEIZURE, CONVULSES AND THEN SUDDENLY STOPS

MILES (CONT'D):
Minister? Minister? Erm, could we get the St John's Ambulance in here please? Has anybody got a tissue?

END

I liked the idea although I felt it needed one extra thing. Not sure, what, just that it needed an extra dimension.

Also, I never saw the news story it was based on.

I live in Spain and in recent years I've been increasingly exposed to
Ecuatorian immigrants. My impression is that their average height is
around four feet, six inches. Should this be an accurate assessment it
would put the dwarves of this race in the 12-18 inches small, range.
My question is this: How the hell did anyone ever find them?
I liked the idea a lot - but due to the Spanish imposition I didn't
see the article to which the above Italian sausage refers.

I'm not sure whether to take 'Italian Sausage' as an insult or a compliment, but thanks for feedback both!

Dan