Comedians with no material Page 4

Quote: John Owen Jones @ March 2 2011, 5:02 PM GMT

I am selling my jokes here

Bidding starts at 1p! jk

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Hi David Bussell (rubbish name haha jk)

Do you know what 'jk' means? It doesn't mean joke (do you know this word too?). It means just kidding maybe your careers adviser should have said it to you hahahaha JK do you see? The thing with all this David B is that you seem to be throwing your weight around this comedy forum like you're all that. I have seen your website and you are not really anything sorry. Who are you? You are no better than the bullies at school really but at least have dignity these days in banks and that.

I'm sure we can get along just fine but please don't try and start arguments or whatever because its a bit sad and having seen your website I simply can't keep up with your Partridgesque brand of irony (how are the DVDs?)complete with ugly middleaged man makeup haha (why didnt I think of that???). It's too much for me!!!

You will probably reply with "1p" and I'm sure it'll be dead funny haha. However judgeing from the way people on here have responded to you in this thread alone it would appear they are sick of you too. I just hope you're OK inside!!!

John

I think this is a typical internet style argument ala Reservoir Dogs.

"No one knows each other so no one wants to back down."

JOJ I think Bussell is serious because that's how his act works,it's osrt of a surreal Dave Gormanesque factoid presentation with a projector and screen and stuff. I think he would be quite serious about saying

"and here's a joke I bought on an auction on a thread"

If you were serious about selling gags (and why shouldn't you be some of your's were pretty damn good) you'd not only get some dosh. But you'd also get some free advertising.

How's your auction for a date for Comic relief going Nat?

Quote: Nat Wicks @ March 2 2011, 11:40 PM GMT

Not even your mum wants to bid.

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Yeh she said it was for Channukah, but I said I was of the gay (sorry but I'm scared of the cat AIDS)

Quote: Nat Wicks @ March 2 2011, 7:00 PM GMT

Don't be phased; there are only a handful of people on here who do stand up, and I think only Tony Cowards who can be described as an established comedian. The rest of us are just chancers.

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I think Dave Cohen (I forget his "handle" on here) might have something to say about that.

Oh and John (Owen Jones), I'll be absolutely honest with you, I've read your jokes and about 50% of them I just don't get, they read like jokes written by a badly programmed random joke generator (I guess it's all in the delivery?).

The other 50% contain some which show some promise but IMHO you need to keep writing and rewriting.

Don't mean to sound too negative, writing good one-liners is very hard, keep persevering.

Quote: John Owen Jones @ March 3 2011, 6:48 AM GMT

Hi David Bussell (rubbish name haha jk)

Do you know what 'jk' means? It doesn't mean joke (do you know this word too?). It means just kidding maybe your careers adviser should have said it to you hahahaha JK do you see? The thing with all this David B is that you seem to be throwing your weight around this comedy forum like you're all that. I have seen your website and you are not really anything sorry. Who are you? You are no better than the bullies at school really but at least have dignity these days in banks and that.

I'm sure we can get along just fine but please don't try and start arguments or whatever because its a bit sad and having seen your website I simply can't keep up with your Partridgesque brand of irony (how are the DVDs?)complete with ugly middleaged man makeup haha (why didnt I think of that???). It's too much for me!!!

You will probably reply with "1p" and I'm sure it'll be dead funny haha. However judgeing from the way people on here have responded to you in this thread alone it would appear they are sick of you too. I just hope you're OK inside!!!

John

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Quote: John Owen Jones @ March 3 2011, 6:48 AM GMT

Hi David Bussell (rubbish name haha jk)

Do you know what 'jk' means? It doesn't mean joke (do you know this word too?). It means just kidding maybe your careers adviser should have said it to you hahahaha JK do you see? The thing with all this David B is that you seem to be throwing your weight around this comedy forum like you're all that. I have seen your website and you are not really anything sorry. Who are you? You are no better than the bullies at school really but at least have dignity these days in banks and that.

I'm sure we can get along just fine but please don't try and start arguments or whatever because its a bit sad and having seen your website I simply can't keep up with your Partridgesque brand of irony (how are the DVDs?)complete with ugly middleaged man makeup haha (why didnt I think of that???). It's too much for me!!!

You will probably reply with "1p" and I'm sure it'll be dead funny haha. However judgeing from the way people on here have responded to you in this thread alone it would appear they are sick of you too. I just hope you're OK inside!!!

John

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I will give you 1p for all the put-downs in that post!

Hi,

OK everyone thank you for chipping in and I have taken it all on board. Thanks Tony as well. I don't use one liners in my set they are just Twitter jokes I do as a writing execise.

I'm not sure about Dave Bussell but I don't want to argue as it seems there is a lot of that in comedy!

All the best to everyone and good luck and thanks for your feedback!

JOJ

Quote: John Owen Jones @ March 3 2011, 6:48 AM GMT

Hi David Bussell (rubbish name haha jk)

Do you know what 'jk' means? It doesn't mean joke (do you know this word too?). It means just kidding maybe your careers adviser should have said it to you hahahaha JK do you see? The thing with all this David B is that you seem to be throwing your weight around this comedy forum like you're all that. I have seen your website and you are not really anything sorry. Who are you? You are no better than the bullies at school really but at least have dignity these days in banks and that.

I'm sure we can get along just fine but please don't try and start arguments or whatever because its a bit sad and having seen your website I simply can't keep up with your Partridgesque brand of irony (how are the DVDs?)complete with ugly middleaged man makeup haha (why didnt I think of that???). It's too much for me!!!

You will probably reply with "1p" and I'm sure it'll be dead funny haha. However judgeing from the way people on here have responded to you in this thread alone it would appear they are sick of you too. I just hope you're OK inside!!!

John

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Hi John,

First of all, let me apologise, people don't tend to react the way you just did unless they really feel like their back's against the wall. I promise you I'm not pursuing this matter to antagonise you, no matter what others might think. I saw you make an offer and took you seriously. I know it can be alarming when people behave authentically on a forum (particularly a comedy one) but that's all that's going on here. Clearly you've mistaken my intentions as something else and responded unkindly. That's fine, you misread my message, maybe you'd had a drink or two (I've seen your website and you look as though you might be "mad for it"), and you acted out in defence. No harm done, I am a Coogan fan as a matter of fact, and you're correct that I am middle-aged (assuming I die at 70).

It seems the confusion stems from your shorthand "jk" to mean joke. As you suggest, we are of different generations and I have a tendency to stop reading when I see an emoticon. Had I understood that you were "joking" I would never have embarked on this endeavour in the first place. I bought a projector on eBay recently for several hundred pounds and it wasn't half as trying as this rather perfunctory transaction turned out to be!

Rest assured that I now consider this matter closed and will not be bringing legal proceedings against you for a perceived breach of contract.

All the best,

David

Hi David,

I don't drink.

I agree about forums!! I have been here five mintues and its worse than Rhyl on a Saturday night haha ***JK***

If you didn't understand the language the bid was made in ("jk") you should not have bid therefore you would have no legs to stand on in court. e.g. on the welsh eBay you cannot claim ignorance of not knowing the language!! maybe that would work in the mid 90s before internet though! hahah again = JK

All the best to you I hope to see you on the circuit as friends,

JOJ

Quote: John Owen Jones @ March 3 2011, 10:16 AM GMT

Hi David,

I don't drink.

I agree about forums!! I have been here five mintues and its worse than Rhyl on a Saturday night haha ***JK***

If you didn't understand the language the bid was made in ("jk") you should not have bid therefore you would have no legs to stand on in court. e.g. on the welsh eBay you cannot claim ignorance of not knowing the language!! maybe that would work in the mid 90s before internet though! hahah again = JK

All the best to you I hope to see you on the circuit as friends,

JOJ

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I'm going to pretend I understand half of what you just said and laugh along with you. hahah!! = DB

Its my second languge I'm afraid. Even my blog gets proof-read before it goes up! Sorry.

Is this a contest for the most pointless argument on BCG?

Cos I may need to step down and whup some ass.

There is no argument. John and I have reached an understanding.

Haha yes! Back to comedy!

Quote: David Bussell @ March 3 2011, 10:37 AM GMT

There is no argument. John and I have reached an understanding.

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Whilst at university, I "reached an understanding" with a female friend... but still, I'm a little shocked that you're being so brazen about it, David.

At first I was sure he was kidding, then maybe not. Now I don't think he is.