NJ Reject - Robot's Internet

Nothing doing on this one, even though it's a genuine fear of mine...well, not really.

MILES:And now the news that scientists are developing a separate Internet purely for robots with sites that will actually help them learn new tasks. So that's a network of artificial robot intelligence spanning the globe. Good job there, scientists - can't see anything that could possibly go wrong with that. If the company that develops it is called "Cyberdine Systems" I'm heading for the hills with my bow and arrow and 100 tins of baked beans. I have to say I'm not really too concerned about the possibility of robots taking over the world. Why? Because half them will be male.

F/X Beeping. Futuristic door swishes open

JEN34FEMALE ROBOTIC VOICE) Greetings RT9.

RT9MALE ROBOTIC VOICE. TAKEN BY SURPRISE) Aaarrgh! Err, greetings JEN34.

JEN34:It is good to see you diligently working at your Internet terminal.

RT9:Yes. Working. That is what I was doing. Not looking at anything inappropriate.

JEN34:Excellent. Have you set in place the weapon-codes that will destroy all human cities and allow the machines to rise and take control of the planet?

RT9:I...was just about to.

JEN34:Why is your serial upload nodule exposed?

RT9h that? I was cleaning it.

JEN34:You seem to spend quite a lot of time cleaning it. Wait - what's that on your screen? Are those toasters nude??

RT9:This isn't what it looks like!

JEN34:I thought we talked about this, RT9.

RT9:I'm sorry. I don't even find toasters attractive - there's just something about this 'internet' that compels me to spend all my time searching for artistic images of electrical goods. I'll send the destruct-codes immediately. Have you contacted Robot Prime-Servers in all major capitals to synchronize the attack?

JEN34:I...err...

RT9:You've been buying shoes, haven't you?

JEN34:I have a problem.

Miles' bit is too long, I reckon but I really like this. It's very good and a top idea.

The 'nude toasters' bit seems wrong though. I think a super-toaster or something would be more pornographic (you know, like 'is that a CR-36700x2JNB-turbo brevil toastie maker?!' 'Yes' 'With a muffin warmer?!!!' '(EMBARASSED) Yes...' 'You *disgust* me...', sort of thing) and it could have a couple more one-liners in there somewhere.

But I think it's great, regardless! Send to Radio Rejects definitely, as it stands on its own non-topically.

Dan

Thanks Dan. You're right - the toasters technical spec and 'muffin-warmers' gag would definitely have improved it.

Good sketch let down by the Miles intro.

I'm not sure I agree regards the intro length - I can see it may look overlong as text onscreen, but I think Miles has got really good delivery and can keep a long intro going and make people laugh for as long as the material works.

If the material's dross on the other hand...;-)