This one is not topical.
INT. NOT IN THE SEA. DAY
CLOSE UP OF HERRING. IT IS BEING HELD TO THE CAMERA. WE ONLY SEE HIS/HER FACE.
Herring
I first got started in television with small roles. Early on, I worked with Jack Hargreaves and I was involved in short film about fly fishing. I’ve also had swim on parts; mainly in nature programmes. I spent some of my happiest times working as an extra for Jacques Cousteau. There were the inevitable adverts when work was in short supply for fish fingers and seafood just to pay the mortgage. Things really opened up for me when I met David Attenborough.
Of course, I got into TV comedy purely by accident. It was a chance meeting with the Pythons at Billingsgate. They invited me to audition for a sketch there and then. They had been playing around with a few ideas but hadn’t got anything fully formed. Eventually John and Michael struck gold and I got the part in a sketch that became the Fish Slapping Dance. The high point came when John Cleese and Connie Booth cast me as the Kipper in an episode of Fawlty Towers. John was really great to work with and gave me all the help he could. It was a superb script which always makes it easy for us actors.
These days, I’m in semi retirement. I do the odd public appearance opening Sea-life Centres and have taken part in some in a couple of episodes of Country Ways. I have been contacted by Jamie O……..
HAND PICKS UP THE HERRING AND GUTS IT. WHILE THIS IS GOING ON, THE HERRING IS MAKING VARIOUS NOISES THAT A HERRING IN PAIN MIGHT MAKE IF IT COULD SCREAM.
Jamie
Once you’ve gutted it, throw it into a very hot frying pan for five minutes.
HERRING IS THROWN INTO A PAN. IT SIZZLES
Herring
You bastard.
Jamie
Happy days mate.