Number 2, in more ways than one.
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SEX, DRUGS & ROCK
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MILES:
In a new book released this week, it turns out that Chilean miners trapped underground requested drugs and sex dolls be provided. I was once stuck for 33 days. In my wine cellar. Not trapped, it's just so big it took that long to get to the door. The only essentials I really would have liked were quail's eggs and an avocado slicer...
GRAMS:ATMOSPHERIC MOVIE DRAMA MUSIC
V/O:
Stuck down a mineshaft, Carlos had to make it work. At first it was all camaraderie and light...
F/X: MINERS CHEERING, LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING.
V/O:
But soon, it turned dark. First, when the lamp batteries ran out, but then drugs were involved.
DRUG-DEALER:
Hey! You wanna buy Mary-Jane.
CARLOS:
You mean prostitute or drugs?
DRUG-DEALER:
Hey, it's dark, man. I can be either.
V/O:
But then, along came a woman to help save him from the dirty underworld of the... dirty underworld.
F/X: OPENS ENVELOPE. SOMETHING SLIDES OUT
ROBERTO:
Who's it from, Carlos?
CARLOS:
It's a girl.
ROBERTO:
What she called?
CARLOS:
(BLOWING UP DOLL) I. ask. her. in. a. minute.
F/X: PUTS RUBBER STOPPER IN
CARLOS (CONT'D):
Label say 'Rubber Rita'.
V/O:
But soon, jealousy was causing all hell to break loose.
ROBERTO:
I love you, Rita. No depth will keep us apart.
F/X: RUBBER SQUEAKING
CARLOS:
What is going on here?! Rita, how could you?
ROBERTO:
She don't love you no more, Carlos! She mine now.
CARLOS:
I will fight for her, Roberto!
ROBERTO:
No, no, Carlos! I think you stuck between rock and hard place!
F/X: SQUEAKING AND PULLING OF BALLOON. BALLOON POPS, FARTING NOISE FLIES INTO DISTANCE
BOTH:
Rita! (VOICES GETS FURTHER AWAY AS THEY CHASE)
CARLOS:
Do not run away!
ROBERTO:
We share!
CARLOS:
We no share!
V/O:
Coming to a cinema near you, soon: 'Sex, Drugs... and Rock'.
END