Not surprised this wasn't used. Rushed it off.
MILES
Like beating Silvio Berlusconi to Eve, the work of the Devil takes many forms. Who else but Lucifer would come up with cramming as many people as possible into a hot tin box, having grotesque garishly dressed tormentors grin inanely at them. Hell on earth, or as they're better known, low-cost airlines. Media shy, Easyjet announced this week that it is to cover its planes in a revolutionary nano-technology coating to reduce fuel costs. Here to tell us more is Easyjet's head of development, Mary Dante. Mary, tell us more .
MARY
Hello Miles. It's very exciting. Our entire fleet is soon to be coated in a special polymer that will significantly reduce drag leading to a 2% saving on fuel.
MILES
(Sarcastic) Won't this affect the subtlepastel orange livery?
MARY
No Miles, it's completely invisible. We've taken the technology from the American Military who use it effectively in Afghanistan.
MILES
But they're fighting the Taliban, not Big Shelia from Romford's rowdy hen night.
MARY
You're missing the point Miles. The benefit of the savings we make on fuel will be passed directly on to our customers.
MILES
(Sarcastic) Another flavor of Pringles offered then. Are there any other advantages.
MARY
Obviously any savings on fuel use will be better for the environment.
MILES
Ahh, reducing Easyjets Carbon hoof print.. (Becoming confrontational) Come on Mary this is just another gimmick isn't it. Invisible paint that no one can see. Have you heard of the Emperor's New Clothes?
MARY
What Sir Stelios wears is none of my business.
MILES
What would you say to people who think this is just smoke and mirrors.
MARY
(Sales speak) Smoke and mirrors do not come as part of our ticket pricing structure but can be purchased onboard for a reasonable fee.
MILES
Thank you very much Mary. Whatever next? Maybe go-faster stripes or a GTI badge stolen from a Mark I Golf.
