Newsjack - half an hour

A newsjack film...if only they'd have made it :-

VOICEOVER:From the people who brought you 'Slumdog Deal or no Deal' and 'The Antisocial Network' comes the horrific story of a man forced to go to terrible lengths to avoid listening to a David Cameron speech.

CAMERONociety's just too small, no two ways about it. We really must accept that. I mean it's titchy when you think about it - really really tiny. And we Conservatives would like to see it bigger. Much bigger in fact...(etc. - CONTINUING IN THE BACKGROUND)

MANVO) Christ he won't shut up! I can't take this anymore, but the conference is packed - it'd look bad if I just walked out. Oh God - I want to die! Wait - I've got an idea...

F/X SUDDEN SOUND OF FEROCIOUS CHOMPING

ONLOOKERh my God - that man's gnawed his own arm off!

ONLOOKER2:Let's get him to a hospital!

MAN:Thank God!

VOICEOVER MAN:The movie that dares to ask the question "How long could you listen to David Cameron going on about the Big Society before gnawing off your own arm?" Newsjack films presents - 'Half an hour'

I can see what you're trying to do, but it doesn't quite work for me. Maybe it's because it feels a bit like '127 Hours' has been and gone.

Could be it! Thanks anyway!

Keep at it - onwards!

It's not really long enough, if truth be told. The movie trailer stuff needs to whack quite a few jokes out quickly and make more points than you have.

I can't believe you wrote 'The Anti-Social Network' and then *didn't* write a trailer for it!

Dan

Agreed!

Yeah, just couldn't get my act together for 'The Anti-Social Network'. It's still up for grabs, so maybe someone more on the ball could do it?

Not sure I agree about the length thing - it was about the same length as last weeks so I didn't bother expanding on it. Though clearly my 'leave 'em wanting more' approach was met with a resounding 'No thanks!' :-)

my approach to writing for newsjack appears to be leave them wanting me to f##k off.

Nah - don't think that.

It's a natural reaction of course, but keep listening and writing and you'll get one on eventually. Chin up!

Cheers, I will keep at it