British Comedy Guide

Valentines Card Shop

A few days late....

DAVE IS IN AN OLD CARD SHOP LOOKING FOR A VALENTINES CARD. HE IS SCANNING THROUGH THE CARDS WHEN HIS FRIEND JASON APPEARS.

JASON:
Have you not got your card yet? Jeez you're leaving it late, today is Valentines Day.

DAVE:
I know! And I wanted to make this year really special. You know with romantic music, dinner and candles, the works. Now I can't even find a bloody card.

JASON:
Did you check for a card over here? (he looks through a few) God, these are really specific.

They all look like apology cards.(reading cards) 'I'm Sorry Your Eyebrows Fell Off', 'We're Sorry Your Foal Got Pneumonia', 'I'm Sorry For Picking Your Scab', 'I'm Sorry You Died'.

DAVE:
Not exactly what I'm looking for Jas.

JASON:
They do have 'Thank You', cards here. Maybe you'll find something in there.

DAVE:
Yeah, lets have a look. (reading cards) 'Thank You For Stinging My Brother', 'Thank You For Copying Me', what...? 'Thank you for kicking my silhouette'. What the hell kind of card shop is this?

JASON:
Look, a miscellaneous section. Your bound to find something in that.

DAVE:
(picks up a few cards) 'Happy Wednesday', 'To a Special Brother On Your Cousins Birthday', 'Congratulations On Passing Wind'.

SHOP OWNER WALKS PAST.

DAVE:
Excuse me. Do you have any Valentines cards?

SHOP OWNER:
There should be a couple left on this shelf.

HE TWISTS THE CARD SHELF AROUND AND THERE ARE 2 LONELY VALENTINES CARDS ON IT.

DAVE:
Excellent. (again reading the cards) 'To My Valentine On Boxing Day', 'Be My Valentine...Or Else'(beat) Have you got anything else?

SHOP OWNER:
I might have one behind the counter.

HE HANDS IT TO DAVE.

DAVE:
(READING) 'To My Beautiful Girlfriend On Valentines Day'. This looks perfect!

HE READS THE VERSE INSIDE:

'Everything reminds me of you
Flowers and trees remind me of you
A soft summer breeze reminds me of you

A nice red brick reminds me of you
An elf getting sick reminds me of you

A swan on helium reminds me of you
A tshirt sized medium reminds me of you

A bag of sportswear reminds me of you
A handful of horsehair reminds me of you
Every single thing reminds me of you'.

DAVE:
(Gives a big lamentful sigh) I'll take it.

END.

I work in a card shop. My favourite Valentine's customer? The one who buys a 'To My Wife' card AND a 'To My Girlfriend' card.

Is this an old one Otterfox, seems familiar. I liked it a lot particularly the verse.

I enjoyed it. :)

I think this reads well Otterfox and it has some nice lines, the eyebrows one being my favourite. Wonder if the verse at the end could be shortened a bit though.

I liked this alot but it felt like 2 diferent sketches welded together.

Both good, but I suspect both better if diferentiated

Quote: Will Cam @ February 17 2011, 8:18 PM GMT

Is this an old one Otterfox, seems familiar. I liked it a lot particularly the verse.

Right you are Will Cam. I entered this in skit comp a few months back. Seen as the week that was in it I was interested to see what the views on this were.

Cheers all for the comments. The verse may be a little long. Might have a look at shortening it.

My favourite card is the 'To a special brother on your cousins birthday'.

what not to buy on valentines day!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jse_ExfRWjo

Thank You For Stinging My Brother :-D

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