Something daft I knocked out for fun. Almost the entire skit is based around facts about Ed's life. Room for improvement?
ED MILIBAND'S SCHOOLDAYS
(A few seconds of the 'Grange Hill' theme)
SCHOOLBOY: Wotcha, Ed. What are you doing?
ED: I'm practising my Rubik's Cube. I need to finish it in under 20 seconds.
SCHOOLBOY: Wicked.
ED: Crucial. I've got to get a fast time for the school competition. Oona King said I could go out with her if I win.
SCHOOLBOY: You love Oona King!!? You want to marry her??
ED: I do not want to marry her. The more I am challenged about that from a
playground standpoint, the more resilient I will become.
SCHOOLBOY: Anyway, I thought you loved politics more than girls.
ED: I do not love politics more than girls. Doing an unpaid internship for Tony Benn is the kind of typical bruised-knee hi-jinks that any teenage boy gets up to. Anyway, I haven't got time for this. The competition's about to start.
TEACHER: Boys...take your cubes. Start!
SCHOOLBOY: Come on, Ed!! (noise of frantic Rubik cubing)
(Buzzer sounds)
TEACHER: Ed Miliband...you completed your cube in 19.59 seconds. But the
winner...in 19.58 and a half seconds.....is David Miliband!
(applause)
ED: I love you, David.
DAVID: Sod-off, you mealy-mouthed weirdo who looks slightly like a cat. I'm off to snog Oona King.
ED: (In tears) I've lost my brother's love over a stupid competition that nobody cares about. I swear on Neil Kinnock's life that I'll never do that again.
END
but well written.