NJ Reject: NewsFox does Egypt

NewsFox Does Egypt

MILES:Now it's time to hear from our friends across the pond at NewsFox, where reporters inject toxic dyes into their blood-stream so that they can literally bleed red, white, and blue.

MEGAN:Welcome back to Newsfox. Newsfox: for all the news that matters. And selected international stories, where the bodycount is high enough.

FX:REDUNDANT SWOOSHING JINGLE THING

MEGAN: Over now to our foreign correspondent, Brock Gumble, for the latest in (PAINSTAKINGLY PRONOUNCING EVERY SYLLABLE, INCLUDING A COUPLE THAT AREN'T THERE) Cairo, Egypt.

BROCK:Hello there, Megan. I tell you what, it's all going down in Egypt, right now!

MEGAN:If that ain't the gosh darned truth, I don't know what is.

BROCK:In case you haven't heard of Egypt before, here's the Newsfox fact-file. 1: Egypt is home to the River Nile, second biggest in the world after the Mississippi. 2: Egypt is full of giant pyramids.

MEGAN:I'm not sure--

BROCK:Little known fact: It is now believed these pyramids were constructed by our alien overlords, who will one day return to Earth and make us their sex slaves.

MEGAN:Uh, Ok, Brock. So what are the latest developments?

BROCK:I really couldn't say, Megan.

MEGAN:I'm sorry? Are the people still out in the streets of Cairo?

BROCK:I think so. Don't know what that's about. Maybe their team won the Egyptian Superbowl, or something.

MEGAN:Are you... are you in Cairo now, Brock?

BROCK:Yes sir. As I live and breathe: Cairo , New Jersey.

MEGAN:New Jersey?

BROCK:I am the most easterly Newsfox reporter. Most of us won't go east of the Mason-Dixon line out of fear of liberals.

MEGAN:But aren't you the Newsfox foreign correspondent?

BROCK:Yes. I'm Canadian.

MEGANo you haven't got anything to report on the developments in Egypt?

BROCK:Well, I do have a source that says recent private meetings held with opposition groups and Vice President Omar Suleiman have proved productive.

MEGAN:You have a source? Excellent. What else can your source tell us?

BROCK:Well, to be honest, my source is CNN. I just flicked over during the ad-break.

MEGANid they have anything else to add?

BROCK:Can't say, Megan. Didn't want to miss any of Smokey and the Bandit 2. The bandit is currently executing an outrageous ruse to throw Smokey off his scent. It just might work.

MEGAN:Brock, make sure you keep us updated on that one.

FX:WHOOPING CLANGING SIREN THING

MEGAN:Well, you all know what that sound means. That's the end of today's 2 minutes of foreign news. Next: how the liberals want YOU to pay more at the gas pump to subsidise gay rights. But first, time to hear from our proud sponsors.

(END)

To be honest, I can't see anything wrong with this in terms of content. It's funny as well, and well-written.

But it's just missing that 'pizzazz' for me, and I can't quite put my finger on why. Maybe it's just the format.

Writing that is probably not very fair, but just how I felt reading it. Sorry.

Dan

Dan, many thanks for reading this and your comments, which I think were spot on. (And congrats on getting material into last week's show)

No probs. I felt bad writing it, but I hope you know what I mean.

(Thanks also, appreciate it)

Dan

Hi Crake. I'm with Dan on this one. Some nice lines particularly the Mississippi/pyramid one and the Canadian reporter. I think the problem might be that the underlying joke is the insular perspective that Americans are perceived to have of the rest of the world. Overlaying a big news story like Egypt detracts a bit from that making it a bit flat. But WTFDIK.