Newsjack - Chinese Television

MILES:In China this week the State Broadcaster China Central Television came under scrutiny amid accusations it had used clips from the 1986 film Top Gun, and presented it on a news programme, claiming it to be footage of a national military training exercise. With me in the studio to discuss this, is representative of China Central Television Amy Ling. Miss Ling, welcome to the show.

MISS LING:Thank you very much Miles.

MILES:Miss Ling, your television network has been accused of using footage from the Tom Cruise film Top Gun in which a fighter jet is shot in mid air before exploding into flames and presenting it as being actual footage of a People's Liberation Air Force training exercise. How do you respond?

MISS LING:I find it a total nonsense Miles. We do not fake any of our news footage, any similarities are purely coincidental. We make many news items on the Chinese military and it is only natural that on occasion some actual events we report may look like sequences from famous Hollywood films.

MILES:I see. Do you think this could be a reoccurring problem in the future?

MISS LING:Who knows Miles? Somebody somewhere can always say, "this looks like this, this looks like that..." it is a danger of the job. We have recently finished putting together footage of a military training exercise in which terrorists on a moving train, are holding the government to ransom with an outer
MISS LING(CNTD) space super weapon, but are thwarted by a Chinese military agent posing as a chef, and it's very probable...

MILESIN) Right... and does this news item end with a giant collision between two trains, which explode and destroy a bridge?

MISS LING:Miles how did you know!!! Have you seen the rushes of our footage?

MILES:No. It's just it sounds remarkably similar to the film Under Siege 2.

MISS LINGh this is typical Miles, we put together actual footage of the Chinese military in action and people say it's all Hollywood film sequences. Tomorrow we are showing some amazing footage of a Chinese fighter pilot in space blowing up an enemy space centre in the shape of a giant star, and I just know that..

MILESIN) Star Wars.

MISS LING:Excuse me?

MILES:It's the Luke Skywalker destroying the death star sequence in Star Wars isn't it?

MISS LING:I don't know what you are talking about Miles. It is actual footage of a Chinese pilot destroying the Death Star... the enemy space centre, I mean.

MILES:Miss Ling, you must admit that some of your news items do bare startling similarities to a number of Hollywood action films?

MISS LING:All pure coincidence Miles. Now if you will excuse me, I will have to return to my work.. We are putting together some film clips of President Hu Jintao and his recent visit to an ancient, booby-trapped, Peruvian temple to retrieve a golden statue. We have some great sequences of him being chased down a narrow corridor by a giant stone ball.

MILES:Miss Ling, thank you for time.

MISS LING:Thank you Miles.

End

The basic premise is alright, but there's nowhere near enough jokes. Go back and read the first few lines. There isn't one gag till you get to the Under Siege bit (which in itself is probably too specific a reference). It's also far too wordy.

Also, as funny as the source story is, it was probably too insignificantl in the end. There's just too much happening elsewhere at present.

In summary: Bigger stories, more gags, less words. Hope that's of some help.

Hey Trabs

Sentences are far too long in this. Need to get to each point quicker and you need a Miles gag at the beginning.

You need some sort of big twist at the end here. The punchline is just another example so something else needs to happen. Can Miles and the woman act something out in the vein of some famous film: "You can't handle the truth!", Miles realises he's both him and the interviewee, Miles has a Meg Ryan fake orgasm.

Dan

Cheers for the feedback, all valid points.