Devils Blurb Episode 1 Feedback Page 4

Elza Bobs speech could be made smaller eg.

Right everybody this is Catherine, our own little newbie.
Catherine the only person you need to be concerned with is that weirdo there.(Points to Christian) He is a only here by rule of balance. He is a heavenly councelor & wants to rip those souls right out of your hand.Dont talk to him unless you have too.
Right everyone (claps hands)work to do, souls to collect. This office must be numero uno. The list of potential candidates has been emailed to you all. Bye now. Shoo. Fer(coughs)

Elisa's speech was one of the things I pointed out earlier. I think the speech can pretty much stay as it is as long as it's interrupted by Dev or someone else from time to time to break it up in to smaller bits. Take a look at one of my earlier posts to see what i mean.

ok i got all your submissions fo changes and if you've not submitted them by now it's to late...(seriously were have you been?) you can pm or email me if there is something urgent you wanna add but I've got a meeting on the weekend and I'll be taking this with me nd re-editing to draft 1 which will be ready for Sunday evening

Look forward to reading it.

Work got a bit mental on weekend I didnt finish the script, it'll be Tomorrow now.

Suppose I should of doen that instead of posting here on saturday but there we are live and learn

Naughty Gavin. Too much thought on the barmaid. Bad bad boy.
No rush is there. You have a quiet weekend & enjoy.x

You got that script ready for us yet, Gavin?

What's the latest on this?

I've been wondering the same thing. It's been a while since Gavin said he'd have the script for us.