Tuumble tunes out...?

I think the time has arrived to kill off Tuumble, my online identity, in all its guises. I simply can't go on operating as the waster I've become and have to clear out the things from my life that are stopping me living in the real world. I should point out that this is not a slight on BCG or any of the people here in any way whatsoever - I love this place but perhaps I love it too much.

I'm 42 but feel 15 in terms of where my place is in the world. I don't have any friends who I see regularly, I never seem to have any money, I'm out of shape, things are so bad at work I just ache in frustration and I can't see a way back on my current path. The good things that happen or have always seem to only materialise because of other people's involvment and it's seriously bothering me now.

My family I love dearly but even then I feel at the bottom of the pecking order. Everything I do is geared towards trying to make things better for them but even then I'm not making a very good job of it. My wife and kids are well loved but they deserve far more than they are getting. I'm not underestimating its importance but I feel like a hug is the only thing I'm able to give these days.

Also, every belief I have is being challenged, not just by others but by myself. I accept things and don't challenge them because I've lost all confidence in my judgement. I just feel I don't know who I am anymore. Some people will blame outside influences and not realise or accept that they are where they are because of the decisions they've made. I know this but feel utterly paralysed by it and unable to make the change. Why?

Is quitting all my forums the answer? Of course not because I obviously have a deeper rooted problem than just coming up with unfounded claims on fellow BCGers. I need a plan that makes action essential not just a possibility. As it stands I feel totally locked in by my present circumstances and have to change. The question now is how - I must find the key to my future.

Oh and BTW, this is not a joke so I'd appreciate it that you don't treat it as such. Thank you.

Bigfella could help you a bit with this I reckon. He's all about this kind of thing.

I hope you don't leave completely, as I think you'll be missed!
But I do understand wanting to cut off internet forums completely for a while, to work on other areas. (You can always come back later.)

Tuumble - we know things are hard for you... but maybe we're the friends you see regularly. I do like to think of you guys like friends (albeit online) and if you quit you may miss us.

But be sure, we'll be here if/when you choose to come back.

The key (as you say) is happiness. And you need to find happiness before you can begin to change things. The good thing is, you've accepted you need to do something about it. Just get motivated and imagine us all shouting "YOU CAN DO IT!"

P.S. See you on fb!

Good luck, Jeremy.

Hope everythings ok
Don't stay away too long mate.

Good luck with the future! I understand completely the love-hate relationship with the internet. At times it's like a vampire, draining you with no appreciable benefit.

You'll be missed on the football thread; best wishes, buddy.

Sorry to hear this Tuumble. I hope you feel better soon mate.

Jeez don't go you were my muse!

You're going to reduce me to lamo reediting of other people's posts.

Seriously you have a heck of a lot of stuffthat's good in your life by the sounds of things. You'll be most missed.

Do come back soon.

And do drop us a line if you want to talk.

You're doing the right thing Jez. It's easy to get sucked into internet forums to the exclusion of other, more important parts of your life.

Have a break, make some headway with your probs, then come back and tell us all how successful you are so's we can all hate you.

All the best

Good luck Tuumble. I hope a break from us lot gives you the chance to sort things out - and that you'll be back when things are looking rosier.

Good luck Tuumble old pal, you will be missed. Hope you get your head sorted and come back one day.

Will

Hi Tuumble. Would agree that the internet can be very demanding on a person's time and I sometimes wonder what they hell I'm doing on it so much and what, if any, benefit it gives back. I think the secret is finding a good balance between real and virtual worlds with the real very definitely being given precedence. Maybe an online cut-off in the short term mightn't be a bad thing.

Very best of luck. Hope you manage to get things straightened out and that you might be back in the fullness of time.

Good luck Tuumble, I hope you manage to get things back on track.

Never underestimate the usefulness of internet friends. Knowing that someone pretty much anonymous who you've never met nevertheless cares about you can be a good thing.

Also - don't underestimate yourself. Perhaps you aren't as good as you think you ought to be but in my experience most people who think like that are the sort of people who are actually much better than they think they are.

Another also - possibly a pointless one if you're quitting the internet but anyway - I'm pretty good with challenged beliefs so feel free to email me if you want someone to bounce anything off.

Final also - be careful not to let yourself slide into depression without getting help. I've seen too many people dip into clinical depression because they don't want to seek help, thinking they should be able to deal with it on their own or that they just need to 'man up' and sort things out. It doesn't work and sorting your life out is vastly more difficult if you are suffering from depression.

Take care matey and I hope we see you back on here at some point in the future.