Short one this, you'll either like it or hate it, but just had the idea now, so here goes...
Leroy the Lemming, sneaking back in after a wild night on the town, is getting a tongue-bashing from the missus..
Mrs Lemming: "What time do you call this? Where have you been?"
Leroy, with a pained expression (and a slurred voice): "Look love, I told you I was going out with the lads..."
Mrs L: "Yeah, the lads again! It's always the lads isn't it? Why do we never go anywhere? Why don't you ever think of your wife?"
Leroy: "Look, you knew we were going to see the match. I told you where I was going."
Mrs L (arms --- do lemmings have arms? --- folded): "Yes, the match. You told me that all right, Leroy. But the thing is this: the match was over at 4pm! Where have you been till now? It's three in the morning!"
Leroy: "Well, Lenny said he knew of this poker game that was going on downtown and..."
Mrs L: "Oh yeah. I might have guessed. Lenny! Why do you always listen to him? He's bad news!"
Leroy (defensively): "Ah, he's all right love. You should give him a chance."
Mrs L: "And what possessed you to go to a poker den, eh? They're dangerous places!"
Leroy (shrugging): "Ah, Lenny said he knew the guy running it, said we were all right..."
Mrs L (snorting in derision): "Right. And if Lenny said to jump off a cliff, would you?"
Leroy (cagily): "Er, now you come to mention it, love, haven't you always said you wanted to go to the seaside...?"
