British Comedy Guide

Cat

A man stands outside his back door, holding a bowl of cat food.

MAN
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

A cat jots towards him from the bottom of the garden.

CUT:

A burly man dressed as a cat (CATSUIT) walks past the MAN and into the house.

CATSUIT:
Excellent, I'm famished!

CATSUIT sits at the table and tucks into the MAN'S dinner.

CATSUIT:
Oh, this is beautiful.

The MAN is stunned.

CATSUIT:
(Remembering)
Oh yeah-

CATSUIT reaches into his pocket (of the costume) and whips out a dead pigeon and slaps it onto the table.

CATSUIT:
I got this for you.

The MAN is still stunned.

CATSUIT continues to eat.

END

:D

:D

Have you brushed your teeth?

Quote: dellas @ February 8 2011, 1:06 PM GMT

:D

Quote: Nil Putters @ February 8 2011, 1:09 PM GMT

:D

Well done and thanks! :D

I think having an actual cat at the beginning makes it confusing as to whether you mean the man dressed as a cat is talking, or you've written a sketch about a talking cat.

(Although it obviously wouldn't matter after it was filmed/animated.)

Quote: zooo @ February 8 2011, 1:13 PM GMT

I think having an actual cat at the beginning makes it confusing as to whether you mean the man dressed as a cat is talking, or you've written a sketch about a talking cat.

I thought that too.

Quote: zooo @ February 8 2011, 1:13 PM GMT

(Although it obviously wouldn't matter after it was filmed/animated.)

And that.

Quote: zooo @ February 8 2011, 1:13 PM GMT

I think having an actual cat at the beginning makes it confusing as to whether you mean the man dressed as a cat is talking, or you've written a sketch about a talking cat.

(Although it obviously wouldn't matter after it was filmed/animated.)

Yes, quite!

Although that is the whole point of the sketch/joke. I suppose it shows I'm still learning to write, trying not to put camera directions and only relying on stage.

Thanks.

Even if you said the real cat ignored him and stayed in the garden, and then the man came in. As long as there's not 2 'cats' coming in at the same time, it'd be fine.

Okay, cheers zooo. Edited. :)

Or something like this?

Quote: Leevil @ February 8 2011, 1:04 PM GMT

A burly man dressed as a CAT walks past the MAN and his cat, and into the house.

Quote: Leevil @ February 8 2011, 1:23 PM GMT

Okay, cheers zooo. Edited. :)

Ah. Whistling nnocently :P

I enjoyed it.

Quote: Leevil @ February 8 2011, 1:04 PM GMT

A burly man dressed as a CAT walks past the MAN and his cat, and into the house.

Oh, I was imagining it was the cat. From a distance he looked like a normal cat but close-up was a fat guy in a costume. But I suppose what you were thinking has more basis in reality Rolling eyes Boring! ;) Nah, it's cool. I like that it can be interrupted in two different ways.

Quote: don rushmore @ February 8 2011, 1:25 PM GMT

I enjoyed it.

Cheers. :)

Quote: Leevil @ February 8 2011, 1:27 PM GMT

Oh, I was imagining it was the cat. From a distance he looked like a normal cat but close-up was a fat guy in a costume. But I suppose what you were thinking has more basis in reality Rolling eyes Boring! ;) Nah, it's cool. I like that it can be interrupted in two different ways.

Oh, I didn't get that at all. :D

Oh I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I did not get that!

>_<

:D

Trying to do some Big Train-Monty Python surreal-ness.

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