Eddie the Ostrich has been taken into custody at LAX airport. Customs surround him and he is not in a good mood. DHS man walks in and takes over, eyeing the hapless bird, who is getting angrier by the minute.
"Why have I been stopped from boarding my flight?" Eddie snarls, adding "I have a very important meeting in Melbourne tonight!"
DHS man looks at him, consulting a clipboard. "I'm afraid you won't be making that meeting, Mister Ostrich," he tells Eddie. "Your name is on our no-fly list!"
"WHAT?!" thunders Eddie, indignant. "You think I'm a TERRORIST! I'm an OSTRICH, for Christ's sake!"
"Yes you are," says the man from DHS, unimpressed. "But here in America we have learned to look for terrorists in the most unlikely places. And we KNOW you were planning to blow up this aircraft, Sir."
Eddie, visibly shaken, stammers "Wh-what?"
"Yeah," says the DHS man triumphantly. "We p-p-picked up your accomplice, Peter Penguin, an hour ago!"
"Shit!" exclaims Eddie, and makes a run for it. As one of the world's fastest land animals, an ostrich can outrun just about anything.
Except a bullet.
(I know, I need help!)