British Comedy Guide

4 x 2 alternative start.

i know my other first scene was under par and alot have stated it but I have come up with this one and fingers crossed its better. God I hope so anyway!

:-

Kevin and harry walk into the sales office to start there shift.

Kevin:- morning bob!

Bob:- morning Kevin, morning harry.

Harry:- morning bob.

Kevin:- who is up for coffee this morning?

Bob:- caffeine hit? Oh yes.

Harry:- ill have a tea mate.

Kevin:- a tea?

Harry:- yeah tea, bag, water, stir, milk, etc.

Kevin:-(whispering) always awkward.

Harry:-heard that! and ill have 2 sugars too.

Kevin:- you never have sugar!! Now its gone from simple coffee to pissing about with sugar and tea bags!

Kevin starts to head towards the staff room

Harry:-we got any biscuits?

Kevin o.o.v :- f**k off.

Scene 2.

Kevin puts bobs coffee on his desk.

Bob:- thanks.

Kevin puts harrys on his desk and takes a seat, harry takes a sip, gulps the mouthful down and pulls a face.

Harry:- whats this?!

Kevin:- tea.

Harry:- why are there lumps in it?!

Kevin:- we ran out of milk so I topped it up with yogurt.

Harry:- YOGURT!?

Kevin:- yeah, its still dairy! Just drink it and stop moaning will you!

Harry:- cheese is a dairy but you don't see people putting that in there drink! What have you used for yours and bobs?

Kevin:- powered milk.

Harry:- why didn't you use that for mine?

Kevin:- I would have if you wanted a coffee.

Harry:- the lumps have green bits in them.

Kevin:- yeah, I think it was Percy's yogurt, its been in there a while, do you want a coffee instead?

Harry:- yeah go on then.

Kevin:- well the kettle is boiled and the kenco is next to the powered milk.

Harry:-asshole!!

Scene 3

Harry walks into the staff room and starts to make himself a coffee, Percy and Darren enter.

Harry:- morning you two.

Percy:- morning dear boy.

Darren:- alright.

Percy:- pass me the milk out the fridge Darren ill make us a tea.

Harry stares hard and wide eyed at Darren to see if he produces milk from the fridge.

Darren:- which one? Green, red or blue top?

Harry looks towards the sales office.

Harry:- YOU LITTLE F*CKER!!!

Darren:- no! I haven't done it!!

Harry:- not you! Kevin put yogurt in my f**king tea and said we didn't have milk!

Percy:- what yogurt?

Harry walks to the fridge and starts searching for the yogurt Kevin used.

Harry:- where is it?!!?

Darren dips his hand in the bin and holds up a yogurt container.

Darren:- is this it?

Harry:- oh God no!

Percy:- he can't have, I found it in the back of the fridge and I chucked that out yesterday, he wouldn't go in the bin would he? It was about 3 weeks out of date when I threw it.

Darren peers into the yogurt pot and starts to prod and poke.

Darren:- its got a lot of mould in it as well.

darren smiles.

Darren:- feels squigy.

Harry:- that dirty shit!!!

any advice at all would be very very welcome, I need a good start and hopefully with some chopping and changing I can get it at least ok or closer to what im aimming for.

I'm not sure this will be enough get people hooked - I'm guessing it's 2 or 3 pages worth of banter and nothing has really happened. You need to get to the story quicker and cut down on the flannel - it may be what you enjoy writing - and it is fun to write - but it's not moving things along quickly enough.

Hope this helps.

Bo.

Well compared to the previous opening scene it's 100% better. Lot of good jokes, all based around the one activity (making tea/coffee) and establishing, in part, the relationships. Depending on what follows (Vicky enters, everyone "mans up"?) it could go quite well.

Classic example pf listening to feedback and acting upon it.

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