I`ve rewritten my Parrot Sketch, any comments greatly appreciated.
EXT. UNDERPASS - NIGHT
TEENAGERS EDEN, DANTE AND MERCEDES STAND IN THE UNDERPASS DRINKING. EDEN HAS CHARLIE THE PARROT ON HER SHOULDER.
EDEN
Wassup Charlie?
CHARLIE
(well-spoken, plummy)
Bubblegum vodka shot please Eden.
EDEN PULLS A SHOT FROM HER POCKET, CHARLIE TAKES IT IN HIS CLAW AND KNOCKS IT BACK.
CHARLIE
Aaaaah. Another should do it!
DANTE
You wanna watch yourself there bro.
CHARLIE
I can handle it Dante (whistles).
EDEN PASSES CHARLIE ANOTHER SHOT.
MERCEDES
Do your owners know?
CHARLIE
(Hiccups)
Nah. I mean no.
DANTE
We`re careful like, but you`re a parrot man!
CHARLEY KNOCKS BACK THE SHOT. HE BEGINS TO SWAY AND LAUGH.
A POLICEWOMAN AND A POLICEMAN APPROACH.
DANTE
Trouble.
POLICEMAN
What`s going on?
MERCEDES
We were waiting for a friend. Consider us gone.
POLICEWOMAN
I can smell alcohol.
THE POLICEWOMAN AND THE POLICEMAN WALK OVER TO CHARLIE.
CHARLIE
(tries to be posh)
Helllooo Chaarlie.
POLICEMAN
A pickled parrot! Where`s he from?
CHARLIE
An eeeeeeegg!
THE POLICEWOMAN STROKES CHARLIE`S HEAD.
CHARLIE
I love youuu. I want your babies. I feeeel sick!
BEFORE THE POLICEWOMAN CAN MOVE, SHE`S COVERED IN PARROT SICK.
THE POLICEMAN GRABS CHARLIE FROM EDEN`S SHOULDER.
POLICEMAN
That`s it! You`re coming to the station and we`re calling the R.S.P.C.A!
CHARLIE
(remorseful)
What will mum and dad say? They`re going to kill me!
CHARLIE MAKES A STRANGLED CHOKING NOISE.
THE POLICEMAN CARRIES A SORRY LOOKING CHARLIE AT ARMS LENGTH.
CHARLIE
Will I go to prison?
POLICEMAN
We`ll think of a suitable punishment.
THE NEXT DAY
INT. POLICE PHONE ROOM - DAY
CHARLIE SITS ON THE TABLE WITH A SMALL TELEPHONE HEADSET ON.
CHARLIE
(well-spoken, plummy)
Hello, my name`s Charlie, how can I help you?
CHARLIE PUNCHES THE DETAILS ONTO THE KEYBOARD WITH A PENCIL.
CHARLIE
An officer will be right with you. (whistles) Who`s a pretty boy then?
