Newsjack - Series 4 Page 61

Quote: 3songsnoflash @ March 18 2011, 5:26 PM GMT

I worked in the new-ish Media Centre building at the BBC in White City a few years ago, and they had loads (about 20 clustered together on each floor) of individual unisex toilet cubicles there. Handy if you needed to escape for a nap.
I'm pretty sure that you could've set up home in one of them, and nobody would've noticed, so squatting was definitely an option.

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The ones in Broadcast Centre and the Media Centre are massive, I used to practise my stand up in there after work (the mirrors are huge) before going to the gig.

As Dan mentioned - I got invited in, too (the week before Trabs, by the sounds of it. Well done, Trabs!). Hugely enjoyed it, a really nice bunch of people and sealed it for me that this is what I want to do with the next 50 or so* years of my life . *touches kitchen table (it is made of wood, not formica, I hasten to add)

Finally istened to this weeks episode, is it me or was it even more about politicians than usual? As usual, it was enjoyable stuff anyway!

Glad it's back for the summer. I'll actually submit for more than 2 eps this time!

And if it's anyone on BCG writing that Royal Correspondent, carry on with it! (Shame there's not going to be newjack the week of the royal wedding!).

Anybody else suffering from news-fatigue? I couldn't give a f**k what's going on in the world this week...

Dan

Today has had a very different vibe. No struggling to press the send button by 11.59. Merely watching the tumbleweed roll past.

Instead of reading the papers on the bus to work today, I read the Viz. It felt good. I am going to miss that Thursday evening panic of wondering if I got stuff on though.

Send me some stuff for NoNewsDan. I will unveil what's on, on Thursday evening. There is only you submitting, so it will be a massive failure if you don't get anything on.

Biscuit-related stuff is more successful, in general.

Dan

I acutally sent a biscuit related sketch to Newsjack that didn't get on. It was Clegg and his wife in a supermarket having a vote on which biscuits they should buy using the AV system. I may rework that and send it to NoNewsDan.

He'd prefer the biscuits.

INT.COOKIE PACKET - DAY

COOKIE 1 and COOKIE 2 are sat at the end of an unopened packet. A muffled sound of crunching and the sceams of dying cookies can be heard

COOKIE 1

Any breakthrough yet?

COOKIE 2

It's still going

COOKIE 1

God help us!

COOKIE SERGEANT

Okay guys. We're up next, check your gear and say a prayer, light 'em if you've got 'em.

COOKIE 3

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die. I want my Momma.

COOKIE SERGEANT

Snap out of it, you're a soldier, start acting like one!

There is sound of a commotion and a giant vomiting outside the packet followed by silence.

COOKIE 1

It's stopped. Thank you Jesus, it's stopped.

COOKIE SERGEANT

Quiet!

There is a sound of a giant coughing. Suddenly the packet moves violently and the cookies bump into each other.

COOKIE 2

This is it! Game over man. Game over.

COOKIE SERGEANT

Pull yourselves together!

Light floods into the packet and DANS enormous face peers down at the cookies. He reaches for the COOKIE SERGEANT

COOKIE SERGEANT

Let's dance you son of a bitch!

DAN lifts out the COOKIE SERGEANT and starts munching

COOKIE SERGEANT

Get some! You ain't so tough!

COOKIE 2

Sarge!

Suddenly DAN begins choking, he turns blue and collapses to the floor. The cookies cheer in celebration.

COOKIE 1

He gave his life to save us.

COOKIE 2

He sure did. The Sarge had the biggest nuts I've ever seen.

Brilliant, Sean

Good week for me this week as I'm now ignoring the robot.

I bet it's sitting somewhere on the end of a email programme, all forlorn and hoping to get some mail to auto-respond to.

Well not off this schmuck you don't pal. Feel that nothingness. Oh yes!!

I take it everyone got the NoNewsDan autoreply, yes?

Dan

No, I've been blenked.

Bloody typical! I haven't got it, so when does i....Hey, wait a minute...You guys!